HOW TO GET A LARGE GRABBAG OF ASSORTED MERCHANDISE FOR FREE! The Third "Your Brain on Drugs" "Zillafiles"(tm) With you ever so loving host, Godzilla... Howdee folks! How are all of my loyal fans doing? Swell i hope.. Anyway, have you ever wanted to get a suitcase or two of assorted grab bag types of things? Well, i am here to tell you that 1. you can and 2. there is almost NO risk of getting caught.. But before i go into details, lemme put in my typical disclaimer... THIS FILE IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND IT IS TO BE USED AT YOUR OWN RISK. NEITHER THE AUTHOR NOR DISTRIBUTERS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO WITH THIS FILE!... There.. now that i got that out of the way, lemme tell you how to get your free grabbag of stuff.e Ever notice how that when you get off an airplane that a clump of people just kinda forms around the luggage carosel and people arent really paying too much attention to anything else? And the faithful Airline Employee's are too busy scratching themselves to pay notice to the whole situation? Well this dilema i refer to as a "Clusterfuck" is the PERFECT setting to make away with a large free grabbag or 2.. Namely, someone else's suitcase... This atmitedly sounds like a really mean thing to do, but dont worry about it! The airline will reach deep into there vast wealth and give the poor victim $700 or so for a new suitcase and stuff, so essentially your ripping off the airlines, not the little old lady with the walker. By now your thinking "Hmm, well zilla, you have my attention, how do i pull off this dastardly wicked theivery?". Well my freinds, it is easyer than stealing candy from 7-11... > But anyway, Here is what you need... A Freind.. Dressed casually, but not over dressed. A pair of those tags with name and address you get at the ticket counter.. A suit and tie for you.. A outer envelope for a Airline ticket.. A pen.. A good bit of acting... A small razor blade This file... Anywho, after you get all this funky stuff, the first thing you will need to do is get the tags from the ticket counter and fill them out completely with YOUR REAL INFORMATION.. After you have done that, both you and your freind look at the flight schedule on the screens.. Agree on a flight that is soon to come in. The more crowded the airport ism the better this will work. Okay, now comes the fun part, you and your freind split up. Your freind waits by the luggage carosel.. You walk to where the people get off the airplanes.. When a flight unloads, simply pull out your ticket envelope, put it in your front pocket, and merge in with the tourists. Try to get as much of a tourist flight as possible. Tourists usually have more fun and interesting stuff. Also, if there are 2 planes landing at once at a pair of pseudo close gates, do it then, the more people that are around, the better it will work. Now, simply follow your clump of tourists to the baggage carosel and meet up with your freind. Put on a Big old show! "Buddie! Long timme no see!!" Hug him! Cry! ACT!! Look like you are best freinds reunited from a 3 year period! Anyway, noone will think this out of the ordinary, and will pay no attention to you.. Now, simply walk towards a pair of suitcases that are sitting on the floor. Grabbing the ones from the carosel are too dangerous, because they might belong to a guy who got off the plane with you. When you get to the suitcases on the floor, quickly and discreetly pull out your single edged razor blade and cut off anything resembling identification on the suitcases. Then, pull out your premade luggage tags, complements of XXXX Airlines and put them on. Easy as cake. Simply grab "Your" suitcases and walk out the door with your freind, talking buddy talk the whole way! And for an even better little thing, have your freind help you carry out one of your suitcases. Just remember, have the empty ticket envelope sticking out of your pocket, and DRESS NICE. Im talking tie and suit here. Noone would suspect you. There is however one flaw. Some airports, not many, but some, such as Miami International, check luggage tickets. If you see someone looking at EVERY SINGLE SUITCASE that leaves the area, dont try anything, your just bound to get caught. But if there is noone there, you got it made! To let you know of what can be gotten, think of al lthe things that CAN be put into a suitcase! Camera's! Jewels! Gifts! Riches beyond beleif! The problem is that most people feel that their luggage is "safe".. Now that you have #3 in the "Zillafiles"(tm) series, you can prove to yourself and those damn tourists that their luggage belongs to anyone that wants it! As usual, please do not Edit, mutilate, change, tweek, delete, rearrange, spellcheck or in any way do ANYTHING to this file to change its apperance. If you find this file handy and helpful, feel free to distribute it as freely as you wish, as long as no profit is made through its distribution. Also, With a suitcase there is about a 75% chance of finding clothes. If dont worry! Simply take the clothes you want, and take the rest to a goodwill donation center! Goodwill will be happy, they will right you a "Tax Deductable" number, and you can claim the price of "your" clothes back on income tax!! granted, youmight have to wait a few months, but if you cant use the clothes, someone else can, and you should have the right to feel "Charitable", plus you can get a Fat ol check from the government at the end of the year. Kinda uncle Sams way of saying "Thank you for stealing".. If you have any questions or comments regarding this, or any other "Your Brain on Drugs" "Zillafiles"(tm), the author can be reached at the following BBS's.. The Citadel............. (305) 785-4038 E-Mail Godzilla Infinate Darkness....... (305) 561-3877 " " Remember, God made weed, Man made booze, Who do YOU trust?