(A brief bit of humor from the September, 1990, issue of ANALOG SCIENCE FICTION/SCIENCE FACT MAGAZINE) Are You Bored? In a Rut? Looking for a New Career? If so, we have the answer to your problems ... The Famous Hackers' School That's right, friends--the Famous Hackers' School! Now you can learn the ins and outs of Hacking in the comfort of your own home, as you prepare for your new career in this fast-growing hi- tech field. Just imagine the look on your friends' faces when they learn that you are a Certified Hacker! As a Hacker, you will be smug in the knowledge that no corporate computer system is safe from your talents. You'll be able to sleep late, and never have to worry about your bank balance again! Under the watchful eyes of our anonymous instructors--noted Hackers all--this correspondence course will teach you the finer points of password plundering, system access level boosting, data destruction, and electronic banking. And Famous Hackers' School offers something that no other school offers: backup career guidance. This special course module will show you how to turn your eventual arrest into a media event, a bestselling book, and a secure position as a computer security consultant! Just send fifty thousand dollars, and we'll rush your FHS starter kit to you via the fastest courier available. This jam- packed starter kit includes the following: * A deluxe 486 computer system, complete with 9600-bps modem and our proprietary "TeleHack" software package * A set of passwords to the major corporate computer systems you'll access during your studies * A twenty-gigabyte optical disk for storing looted data * A collection of timed viruses for your personal use * Official FHS membership card, recognized by bail-bondsmen the world over * A complete set of course manuals, cleverly disguised as obsolete operating system manuals Bonus! Send your money before Friday the 13th, and we'll throw in our famous "Build-a-Virus" kit, complete with two-page, illegible photocopied instruction sheet, at no extra charge! Get started as a Hacker today--and have more fun tomorrow! The Famous Hackers' School A Division of Bizarro Enterprises Our Motto: Nobody likes a hacker ... but that's okay, because they'll be sorry! Copyright, 1990, Michael A. Banks ============================================================= BOOKS BY MICHAEL A. BANKS "If a technical thing is troubling you, just wait a bit. Michael Banks is probably writing a book that will make it clear." --The Associated Press Do you use DeskMate 3? Are you getting the most out of the program? To find out, get a copy of GETTING THE MOST OUT OF DESKMATE 3, by Michael A. Banks, published by Brady Books/Simon & Schuster, and available in your local Tandy/Radio Shack or Waldenbooks store now. Or, phone 800-624- 0023 to order direct. (The all-new 2nd edition is now available!) "GETTING THE MOST OUT OF DESKMATE 3 is more than a guide to DeskMate; it's an enhancement..."--Waldenbooks Computer NewsLink Interested in modem communications? Check out THE MODEM REFERENCE, also by Michael A. Banks and published by Brady Books/Simon & Schuster. Recommended by Jerry Pournelle in Byte, The New York times, The Smithsonian Magazine, various computer magazines, etc. (Excerpts from this book accompany this file.) THE MODEM REFERENCE is available at your local B. Dalton's, Waldenbooks, or other bookstore, either in stock or by order. Or, phone 800-624-0023 to order direct. (1st edition currently available; all-new 2nd edition available in January, 1991!) "I definitely recommend it." --Jerry Pournelle, BYTE Magazine Want the lowdown on getting more out of your word processor? Read the only book on word processing written by writers, for writers: WORD PROCESSING SECRETS FOR WRITERS, by Michael A. Banks & Ansen Dibel (Writer's Digest Books). WORD PROCESSING SECRETS FOR WRITERS is available at your local B. Dalton's, Waldenbooks, or other bookstore, either in stock or by order. Or, phone 800- 543-4644 (800-551-0884 in Ohio) to order direct. Other books by Michael A. Banks UNDERSTANDING FAX & E-MAIL (Howard W. Sams & Co.) THE ODYSSEUS SOLUTION (w/Dean Lambe; SF novel; Baen Books) JOE MAUSER: MERCENARY FROM TOMORROW (w/Mack Reynolds; SF novel; Baen Books) SWEET DREAMS, SWEET PRICES (w/Mack Reynolds; SF novel; Baen Books) COUNTDOWN: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO MODEL ROCKETRY (TAB Books) THE ROCKET BOOK (w/Robert Cannon; Prentice Hall Press) SECOND STAGE: ADVANCED MODEL ROCKETRY (Kalmbach Books) For more information, contact: Michael A. Banks P.O. Box 312 Milford, OH 45150