/* ============================================================================ Yep, just when you thought it was safe! (Oh the horror of it all) MORE ARGUS HACKERS!! yay. Anyway, here's the talk me and Mr. hacker had */ Disclaimer: This is nowhere near as funny as mine and Kingpin's first Argus hacker installment was. But some of it is funny. Just check out some of his blatant lies. L = Him (His handle was 'Loop' for anyone else who wants to torment him) CM = Me P.S. - I hope you all like the C-style comments :) /* */ ===========================================================================*/ CM: lo L: Hi CM: well, you're a hacker? L: WHo told you? CM: haha...it's in your registry /* his stupidity already showing */ L: It is???? /* No, I imagined it..duh! */ CM: yep...it says you like to 'hack and phreak' /* gave me goosebumps..NOT! */ L: ooh shit, I have to change that before someone else sees it /* yeah, like his friends and they laugh him out of town */ CM: hahaha....so, are you though? L: Well, I must learn about yourself first... /* he stopped typing for a minute or two here so: */ CM: are you alive? L: st /* must be some funky hacker code! hah */ CM: hello? L: , before I go spilling my stuff L: HHHuhsufhusdfhu L: fgh L: hf L: g L: f CM: H CM: e CM: ,llo? L: what the hell wa /* that was your modem getting sick of all the bullshit you're saying */ L: Hello CM: lo CM: what was that? L: Wow.... something just got fucked.... anyway..... CM: shit...hold on...I'll brb /* I exited chat for a few here... */ x ...Okay, exiting chat... *** From Loop: Hi *** From Loop: hi :chat loop Ok, Loop has been notified of your request to chat. :*** Loop has accepted your request to chat! ********* Chat Mode Activated ********* WARNING - DO NOT type your PASSWORD at any time while in chat mode!!! Type 'X' on a blank line to exit. CM: lo! L: Hi CM: So, what would you like to know? L: huh??? Me like to know? CM: yeah....I asked if you were a hacker and you said you have to know more about myself first. /* I think maybe he is gay */ L: Well then,, go ahead. CM: what do you want to know? L: Age, Location, ummmm. Where do you call up. (BBSes) /* Really? I thought you meant pizza places!! */ CM: 23, South Boston, ATDT, Plan 9, The internet L: What's your int. address CM: darkside@bronze.lcs.mit.edu and darkside@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu L: What the fuck? /* he gets what he asks for and then doesn't know what it is?? */ CM: those are my two internet addresses. /* I actually wanted to say fuck off, bozo and log him off */ L: ooh. It looked a bit long /* his glasses are all steamed up from viewing the X-rated GIFs and he can't see well */ CM: didn't you see the 'and' ? L: I've got crazy ln tonight CM: what??? L: line noise CM: oh...duh...anyway, so, you're a hacker, no? L: sort of CM: what have you hacked? L: Well, most MBBS s are easy once you've done one. /* right around here I started getting nervous from being in the presence of this Jesse James of the hacking world. YEAH RIGHT. */ CM: I see....so is MBBS all you hack? NO! There are local switches, and my favorite international one in the bahamas /* I have no idea what he is babbling about */ CM: uh, I'm not sure what you're talking about...but anyway, what else have you hacked? L: Not all hackers are by themselves! I hack and phreak with my friends. /* still hasn't answered my question. Perhaps he is lobotomized... */ CM: cool. is there a group name? L: We havent come up with one for some stupid reasons /* and that stupid reason is that the group doesn't exist */ CM: interesting....so, how do you phreak? L: Boxes, mfers, switches you kknow CM: boxes? /* play dumb */ L: Blue boxes, black boxes..... CM: black boxes? do they still work? L: In some places CM: oic....so, what boards are you on? L: I was on hog, now WOW! A BIG ASS ROACH JUST BIT MY FOOT! /* was on HoG? I must've deleted this dickwad when I was RemOp */ CM: kill it! /* hurry, it's your mother! */ L: done /* good now if I can only get him to kill himself */ CM: good....now, what boards are you on? L: I was onn HHoG, (It was raided) Now, on zopperdot, here just to talk, and other fa ffar awway onnnes. /* zapperdot. non existant as far as I am concerned. Anyone else hear of it? HoG. Raided. That's pretty funny. I just called five minutes ago */ CM: cool....too bad about HoG though....I've never heard of it/never called there...what did they have online? L: Everything Someone llike me would want. /* roundabout answers mean only thing: person giving them doesn't know jack shit */ CM: interesting...and what is that? Oh, and do you know of any local groups around here? L: UGG's? /* fucking girl scouts, dickhead...what do you think? */ CM: excuse me? L: User groups? CM: no, uh, well, you know: h/p groups or anything... L: Hacks don't use those /* don't use them? how do you use a group? */ CM: I thought there were some groups around here? L: Well, BBSes /* No, loser. groups. not BBSes. */ CM: no, I mean groups of hackers....and they all go by a certain name.... L: One question: Whhy are you so interested /* talking to imeciles always makes my day */ CM: because it is a fascinating subject....and I am writing a story on it... L: Maybe I shoould stop then CM: why? L: WRITING A STORY! /* the amazement of using his brain just hit him */ CM: yeah, so? it's not like I have your real name or anything... L: Well, we have reputationss behing our handles /* reputation? what is his hacking handle? wanna_be@losers.r.us ? */ CM: uh huh...and what is the reputation behind yours? Is 'loop' your h/p handle or just the one you use here? /* loop...hmm...maybe he's just going around in circles! haha */ L: MMany have a few handles CM: so, what is yours? L: I told you, we have reps.! CM: so what? how will telling me your handle ruin your rep? L: If I was caught spilling? CM: you're not spilling anything to anyone... L: So, why else besidess a story, for youur own biis? CM: biis? L: business.. CM: of course L: Why u want 2 knoww? CM: plain old curiousity.,.. L: Curiosity killss /* ooh! a philosopher too! */ CM: yeah, well, I have 9 lives L: Whatt are you, a fucking cat? CM: absolutely L: crazy mfer CM: and proud of it....so, are you going to answer me? L: Try a null characteer /* try a intelligent response */ CM: haha......what are you so hesitant about? L: Thosse feds will kill ya /* oh no. I'm a fed again. Kingpin, get over here! Time For Joe Fed! hah */ CM: hey, Jr, I'm not a fed L: JR??????? NO WAY! /* uh oh...an upset little kid..oh no */ CM: yeah, Jr. L: OK, senior. CM: ahh...a humorous hacker...how lovely....so, tell me more? I have some things here and I don't know what they stand for......one of them is INC...and another is LOD...and RDT....what the hell are those? /* I have a better chance at correct answers if I ask one of the wino's downtown */ L: Are you kidding?????? CM: No, I don't know what they stand for... L: c= The C programming lingua /* lingua? He must be Spanish...did I ask about C? */ L: lod=Legion of Doom L: RDT= You should know! /* which means you don't */ CM: No, I don't know...do you? And what is INC? L: Ooh please! CM: well?? L: inc! CM: yeah? is? L: Go buy a book /* so you can borrow it right? */ CM: what book? L: Something like the computer dictionary of terms /* yeah..lesse...page 874...yup! INC. International Network Of Crackers. Sure...uh huh... */ CM: why won't you just answer me? L: It's a waste of time /* I'd tell you but I forgot how to spell 'crackers' !! */ CM: but you answered LOD... /* hell, my mother know what LOD stands for... */ L: Diddn't you know?????!!! CM: NO!!!! why would I ask if I knew??? L: mmmmmm. I dunno. Theen whhhattt do you thinkk a null character is??!! CM: a null character? an empty one? L: what? CM: nevermind....what does INC stand for? and RDT? L: JUST GT A BOOK AAND READ YOUR BRAINS OUT! /* or blow yours out */ CM: don't you know? L: YEES! /* NOO! */ CM: then tell me! L: No CM: you don't know! L: There aree 2 basiic meaningngs of both. I'll tell you first meaning /* which is the only one my feeble brain knows */ CM: go for it L: fort? CM: what? L: nm... L: ininiinnc. is abb. for an incorperation, and the othther, rdt is a terrrmmmm for reccceiving dataa trransmittion /* this is classic....a stuttering typist... */ CM: yeah, but, what are the other meanings??? L: I can't say CM: yes you can! L: Let me cacall back foor a better line CM: welp, I know you're probably not going to call back...ttyl! /* doubtful */ L: i will /* I hope not */ CM: ok /* go die */ /* Here we exited chat and I logged off. When I came back he was not there but he left me email telling me how much of a loss it was of mine to have missed him. For some reason I don't think I really missed much */ Criminal Minded AKA Genetic Mutation AKA darkside@bronze.lcs.mit.edu darkside@hal.gnu.ai.mit.edu /*==========================================================================*/