This is a compilation of quotes that I find amusing, intriguing or shocking, nothing more. I put it together purely for interest's sake. They come from a wide range of sources - friends, movies, poets Do with them as you will! Any suggestions - feel free to Email me on rob.turner@vuw.ac.nz ... :-) "I'm going to go out and be obnoxiously single" - SnapDuran Man "Okay, we got a full tank of gas, a half pack of cigarettes, it's 90 miles to Chicago, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses." - Elwood Blues "I have you now" - Darth Vader "You must do what you feel is right" - Obi wan Kenobi (before facing Darth Vader...) "Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion - you must set yourself on fire..." - Anon "Isn't it great to feel a big piece of meat between your legs?" - Ed Turner (having mounted a motorbike for the first time...) "Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes" - Lewis Gizzard (AL) "...wondering which of the brothers to blame and waiting for pigs on the wing" - Pink Floyd (AL) "We give in to love because it gives us some sense of what is unknowable..." -Jeremy Irons playing Dr Fleming, Damage "She took me down to a secret place In the bayou of her blankets She offered to share her bourbon, I thanked her, then I drank it" - Grant Lee Phillips, Grant Lee Buffalo, Dixie Drug Store "I have a perfect cure for a sore throat - cut it" - Alfred Hitchcock "I know that my goal is more than a thought." Alex Lifeson "I've got rock'n'roll. It saves me from the cold. And if that's all there is, that ain't so bad" - Lemmy Kilmister "Ideallists of course are unpredictable. They tend to be the ones who turn bitter overnight, deceived by the lies they've told themselves." - Don DeLillo "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind, and won't change the subject" - Winston Churchill "Cheop's Law: Nothing ever gets built on time or within budget" "C'mon then, my log does not judge" -Margaret, the Log Lady of Twin Peaks "I like being single. I'm always there when I need me." - Art Leo "Don't dominate the rap, Jack, if you got nothing new to say" - Robert Hunter "Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology." - R. S. Barton "A man feared that he might find an assassin; another that he might find a victim. One was more wise than the other." - Stephen Crane "Who the hell's Paul Abdul?" - Erik Bennett "When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you are near. - Samuel Hoffenstein "Reelometic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy and a prize-winning Cuvee Reserve Chateau bottle, Nuit sans Woga Woga which has a bouquet like an Aborigine's armpit." - Australian Table Wine Assoc. "When will I learn? The answer to my problems isn't at the bottom of a bottle--it's on TV!" - Homer Simpson "Never appeal to a man's 'better nature;' he may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage." - Lazarus Long "Sounds like a personal problem." - John "Mad Dog" Matzka "I am endeavouring to construct a pneumonic memory circuit using stone knives and bear skins." - Mr. Spock "Idealists of course are unpredictable. They tend to be the ones who turn bitter overnight, deceived by the lies they've told themselves." - Don DeLillo "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain "I'm not okay, and neither are you as far as I'm concerned." - Jon Lewis "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read." - Mark Twain "My plan: To chew some bubblegum and do some research, and we're all out of bubblegum." - Rajeev Pandey "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley, an' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain for promis'd joy." - Robert Burns "Little Boy Lost--He takes himself so seriously. He brags at his misery. He likes to live dangerously." - Bob Dylan "Some people have a way with words and some people...no have way, I guess." - Steve Martin "Heck I reckon you wouldn't even be human if you didn't have some pretty strong feelings about nuclear war." - Major Kong, Dr Strangelove "What the hell--nobody said life was safe." - William Reicher "Some people get up at a quarter to seven. Other people lie in bed 'til 8:45 or nine, but I'm happy just to hang in bed 'til eleven, 'cause eleven has always been a good friend of mine." - Bob Dorough, from Multiplication Rock "All this machinery making modern music can still be open-hearted. Not so coldly charted, it's really just a question of your honesty." - Neil Peart "He who dies with the most toys, still dies" - No Fear advertising poster "If you.re not living on the edge then you're taking up too much space" - No Fear T-shirt "Life changed completely once I realised that I had been mistaking excitement for fear" - Peter Hill " Let us go then, you and I, While the evening is spread out against the sky Like a patient etherised upon a table;" The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock T. S. Eliot "The power of words is immense and beguiling and strong..." - Rob Turner "And when they've given you their all, some stagger and fall. After all it's not easy beating your heart up against some mad bugger's wall." - Roger Waters "At present I would prefer not to be a little bit reasonable." - Bartleby the Scrivener "...but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity." - Neil Peart "After all, all [Shakespeare] did was string together a lot of old, well- known quotations." - H. L. Mencken "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson "As a criminal organization, the Federal government makes the Mafia look like a bunch of purse snatchers." - Kevin S. Van Horn "It is an important and popular fact that things are not always as they seem." - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Don't look to me. Don't ask for help. Don't ask for anything that you can do yourself." - Lemmy Kilmister "There is only one thing in the world worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself." - Oscar Wilde, according to Monty Python "There is great disorder under heaven and the situation is excellent." - Mao Zedong "Refusing to be pacified it's him they blame the most." - Mark Knopfler "Of course the whole point of the Dooms Day Machine is lost if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world??" - Dr. Strangelove "For my own part, I have never had a though which I could not set down in words with even more distinctness than that which I conceived it." - Edgar Allan Poe "I assumed you needed help. I see I am in error." - Spock "You better learn it fast, you better learn it young, because 'someday' never comes." - John Fogerty "...I probably shouldn't point at the word 'reptiles' when I say 'businessmen.'" - Rajeev Pandey "He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere." - Ali Ben Abu Taleb "Twenty-four hour room service must be one of the premiere achievements of modern civilization." - Special Agent Dale Cooper, from Twin Peaks "What would happen in a battle between a Starship Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?" -Tom Galloway "School is more than just a way station. It's your last taste of freedom. It should be savored!" - Zonker Harris "Accomplishment is its own reward. Pride obscures it." - Major Briggs, from Twin Peaks "Be careful of reading health books; you may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice." - Geddy Lee "No - haven't you heard? There's a new replacement buzzword for SNAG - now we say Cultured Understanding Nurturing Type" - Fraser Shepherd "The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been." - Alan Ashley-Pitt "Friends! I represent the government. I support your charges against Landlord Huang. We will certainly avenge Hsi-erh. First, let us arrest Huang and Mu for public trial according to proper legal procedure!" - District Head, from The White Haired Girl "Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step." - Don McLean "It's beyond my control." - The Veconte, from Dangerous Liasons "Excuse me, there is a multi-legged creature crawling up your shoulder." - Spock "It's not safe out here; it's wonderous. With pleasures to satiate hearts both bold and adventurous--but it's not for the timid." - Q "Two men say they're Jesus. One of them must be wrong." - Mark Knopfler "There is nothing to be found in music, only the pleasure of being defined by it." - Simon Frith "Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's life." - Mark Twain "Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but to carry on." - Steven Stills "To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods." - Lazarus Long "Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose." - unknown "Listen--strange women lying around in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" - Dennis the Peasant "Innovation for the holders of conventional wisdom is not novelty, but annihilation." - Marshal McLuhan "So you see, the only truth proof of what you are is in the way you hear the truth." - Lemmy Kilmeister "The world needs ditch-diggers too." - Anonymous Question of Seal: "Why do we dream in metaphors? Because dreaming logically would be too simple..." "The only worthwhile thing in art is seeing someone else's heart." - Adam Duritz, Counting Crows "If you wanna kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel - on your knees, boy" - U2 "Eliminate all rational thought - that is the conclusion that I have come to William S Burroughs, Naked Lunch "And when they've given you their all, some stagger and fall. After all it's not easy beating your heart up against some mad bugger's wall." - Roger Waters "At present I would prefer not to be a little bit reasonable." - Bartleby the Scrivener "...but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity." - Neil Peart "After all, all [Shakespeare] did was string together a lot of old, well- known quotations." - H. L. Mencken "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson "As a criminal organization, the Federal government makes the Mafia look like a bunch of purse snatchers." - Kevin S. Van Horn "It is an important and popular fact that things are not always as they seem." - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Don't look to me. Don't ask for help. Don't ask for anything that you can do yourself." - Lemmy Kilmister "There is only one thing in the world worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself." - Oscar Wilde, according to Monty Python "There is great disorder under heaven and the situation is excellent." - Mao Zedong "Refusing to be pacified it's him they blame the most." - Mark Knopfler "Of course the whole point of the Dooms Day Machine is lost if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world??" - Dr. Strangelove "For my own part, I have never had a though which I could not set down in words with even more distinctness than that which I conceived it." - Edgar Allan Poe "I assumed you needed help. I see I am in error." - Spock "You better learn it fast, you better learn it young, because 'someday' never comes." - John Fogerty "...I probably shouldn't point at the word 'reptiles' when I say 'businessmen.'" - Rajeev Pandey "He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere." - Ali Ben Abu Taleb "Twenty-four hour room service must be one of the premiere achievements of modern civilization." - Special Agent Dale Cooper, from Twin Peaks "What would happen in a battle between a Starship Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?" -Tom Galloway "School is more than just a way station. It's your last taste of freedom. It should be savored!" - Zonker Harris "Accomplishment is its own reward. Pride obscures it." - Major Briggs, from Twin Peaks "Be careful of reading health books; you may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice." - Geddy Lee "What we are reluctant to touch often seems the very fabric of our salvation." - Jack Gladney, from White Noise "So they say this is the golden age, and gold is the reason for the wars we wage." - U2 "I can tell you're really upset about this, Dave; I really think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and think about it." - HAL 9000 "'Tis not too late to seek a newer world." - Alfred, Lord Tennyson "Now, boys, you won't see this operation performed very often, and there'sa reason for that... You see, it has absolutely no medical value." - William S Burroughs, 'Naked Lunch' He said "I see you, you thief! This land is my land And this sand is my sand And this band is my band" Roger Waters - Towers Of Faith "Ooh man, I just shot Marvin in the face." - Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction "The problem with computers is there isn't enough Africa in them." -Brian Eno "Everybody should believe in something - I believe I'll have another drink." "Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it is 100 per cent fatal" "Enigma", Internet Call-sign "Men are just like dogs and women are just like cats. Men are loyal and if they find the right master they will do what they are told. Women just go to whoever feeds them" Erin Jurgeleit "The problem with computers is there isn't enough Africa in them." -Brian Eno