======================================= BITCHSLAPPING COURTNEY LOVE: A Quick Lesson in the Colorado Security Quick & Dirty by oleBuzzard Written Today / 07-JAN-96 (c) 1996 Communications ======================================= INTRO Bitchslapping Coutrney Love? Well allow me to get ahead of myself. Now see, normally I don't write on local topics. Normally when I write a text file, the subject matter has fairly universal applications. But hey, this is a good one, it's easy, and the fact is Colorado is picking up in popularity nationwide, so what the hell. Besides , chances are you can pull this one anywhere with a little research. Alright, now I'm so far ahead of myself I managed to catch up. As I was saying, "Bitchslapping Courtney Love?" Please, go right ahead. She'll be playing in Denver, Co., in Summmer 1996, and BELIEVE ME, the Security is laxed. CSC CSC stands for Contemporary Services Corp., a Denver based Seurity firm that provides Security services for Mass events. What kind of mass events? Where? Well believe me, the company is a behemoth, and they provide security ALL over Colorado. Here's some of the regular events they cover: * The Denver Avalanche (McNichols Arena, Denver) * The Denver Broncos (Bronco Stadium, Denver) * The Denver Nuggets (McNichols Arena, Denver) * Colorado State Univerity Rams Football (Rams Stadium, Fort Collins) * Red Rocks Ampitheatre (Denver West) * Fiddler's Green Ampitheatre (Greenwood Village) * AFA Falcons (Falcon Stadium, Colorado Spring) * Colorado Buffaloes Football (Folsom Field, Boulder) * Colorado Buffaloes Basketball (Coors Event Center, Boulder) * The Colorado Springs Skysox (Skysox Stadium, Colorado Springs) * The Colorado Rockies (Coors Field, Denver) * Elitch Gardens Amusment Park (Denver) * PGA Tour (Castle Rock) * LPGA Tour (Castle Rock) * Estes Park Peoples Festival (Estes Park) * Aspen Jazz Festival (Aspen) As you can see, these guys cover ALOT of ground in Colorado. I mean if it's a major event in Colorado, more than likely these guys are covering the security. And they ALWAYS cover the events listed above. Basically these guys are THE security company in Colorado because they have the ability to get a bunch of people to an event at the drop of a hat. I mean if somethings impromptu, an event is cancelled and rescheduled for e next day have it the next day, CSC will be there. But whats the other side to this, and how does it allow us to bitchslap Courtney? Well heres the thing: First of all, the starting (and for most people finishing wage) at CSC is $4.25 an hour. Also, there is no training program with CSC, just "Watch this area." And finally, turnover with the firm is extremely high. This is all one big old equation for lax security. Hell I worked at the place for a week and got into events for a year afterwards. i mean it's a cakewalk. Next time you're in Colorado, don't wait in any lines, just goto wherever a Security figure is standing, and I mean ANY security figure, and say CSC. "CSC, oh, cmon in, I guess you guys are meeting upstairs. Do you wanna ride up the hill?" or "Alright, let these guys through. CSC has parking right by the door. Just go on up and get your shirt." or even "Hey, how ya doin. I heard you guys had a hell of a fight last night at the Fish Concert? Man I wish I could have been there." It's literally that easy. CSC has complete cooperation with the Colorado Springs Police Department, Denver Police Department, State Patrol, Boulder Police Department, Facility Staff at all the events they cover, I mean they have everybody who matters cooperation. They've got security up in Colorado. But they're so big they never know who's working or when and so if you know the secret password, CSC, you can get in any where, walk around every where, walk past anybody, and just sit down and enjoy the event. It's that easy! Lets take a case in point.... BITCHSLAPPING COURTNEY LOVE LIVE! At Red Rocks Ampitheatre One Night Only COURTNEY LOVE and HOLE YOU: "Hi, CSC." GATE GUARD: "Ok, go on up, use the Staff parking and a van will pick you up to take you up the hill" YOU: "Thanks." YOU: "Hi, CSC." PARKING: "Park over there." YOU: "Thanks." YOU: "Hi CSC." VAN DRIVER: "Hop in." YOU: "Thanks." YOU: "Hi, CSC. I'm supposed to work Courtney's Dressing Room." SECURITY: "Ok, well check in, and grab your shirt. Operations is in 311. Courtney Love's Dressing Room is right over there." YOU: "Thanks." at this point you may wanna skip going to Operations and go straight to Ms. Loves Dressing Room. YOU: "Hi, CSC, I'm working the Dressing Room tonight." COURTNEY: "Hi, I'm Courtney Love, you gonna keep me safe tonight" YOU: "Sure." WHACK! And that's all there is to it. Keep in mind that upon slapping Ms. Love you will probably be accosted by real CSC Employees as well as a number of members from the Law Enforcement Community, and probably Ms. Love herself. What you might wanna do, is modify step five and instead of going to Ms. Loves dressing room and smacking her, just go out to General Admission seating and sit down. Trust me, ther'll be a million people wlaking around, and nobody is gonna notice you. OUTRO Just in case it's of interest to ya, heres CSC's address and phone: Contemporary Services Corporation 5889 Greenwood Plaza Blvd. Greenwood Village, CO. 80111 Phone: 303-850-0500 Next time your in Colorado, check out a Concert or a Football game...on me. 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