Archive-name: Changes/mike.txt Archive-author: Ruth White Archive-title: Institute, The CHAPTER 1 Michael Taylor sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on the case file in front of him. His secretary, Alice, had really dressed sexy today and he couldn't get her out of his mind. It wasn't that Mike was interested in Alice; he wasn't, but he was interested in the clothing she wore. Mike had discovered in his early teens that he got a kick out of wearing girl's clothing, though the only opportunities he got to dress up were in his mom's stuff when she wasn't home. Ashamed of this tendency, Mike had fought it, and thrown his energies into schoolwork instead. In college the urge to dress had surfaced again. Worried that he was queer, Mike tried to find out what his problem was. He had scoured the library for books on sex and psychology. Reading them had educated Mike to the fact that he was a transvestite. He was especially relieved to find out that he was, like most transvestites, heterosexual. Mike still hadn't seen his way clear to indulge himself and dress up. He'd lived at home with his mom while he worked his way through law school, graduating at the top of his class. Now Mike had it all; he was dating the beautiful Beth Wagner and had a position with one of the top law firms in New York City. He was on his way up. There was only one thing missing in Mike's life; he wanted to dress up. After watching Alice all day, Mike decided it was time to see what he could do about his urge to dress. Mike had heard rumors of boutique that catered to men like him and, with no trouble, he was able to find it down on 14th St. Once there, Mike went on a crazed shopping spree. Here was everything he'd dreamed about, and he bought it all. A long blonde wig, cosmetics, waist cinch, a bra and pads to fit it, a little contraption to hold his cock and balls out of sight, a padded panty, a garter belt and hosiery, spike heels, lingerie, some dresses, and a couple of books which he hoped would help him put it all together. Mike saw a girl in the store. She was tall, kind of skinny and flat chested, but really cute with short black hair. She was wearing a suit, and looked as if she'd stopped off on her way home from the office. Mike wondered what she was doing there, but then he thought, "she's probably thinking the same thing about me." Mike gathered his purchases together after paying for them and headed for the door with his arms filled with boxes. He walked past the girl he'd seen earlier. "Just getting started?" It was a man! The voice gave him away. Mike stared. He hadn't been able to, and still couldn't, tell by his appearance. "Don't get spooked. I don't bite." He said in a low husky voice. "I'm sorry, it's just that ... this is my first time and I uh ... don't know ..." Stammered Mike. "That's O.K. Here let me give you a hand with your bags." ******* Mike and Dawn, as he called himself, sat in the back of a coffee shop talking. "Get it. From Don to Dawn and the dawn of a new me." "Yeah." Said Mike, still entranced by the image of the man before him. "I must compliment you on you appearance. I had no idea that a man could look so much like a woman." "Well thank you very much, but I can't take the credit for that. I'm afraid the Institute gets the blame." "The what?" "The Institute. Oh, it's got some long name like The Institute for the Amelioration of Gender something or other, but all the TV's I know call it The Institute." Dawn had Mike's undivided attention now. "What did they do for you?" Mike asked. "Well they made the man I am today, even if you can't tell that I am one. You see it's run by this really rich guy who's a TV. He uses his fortune to run the Institute, so that no TV or TS will ever have to suffer alone. They do all sorts of things like hold classes and to teach us guys how to dress and act like ladies." "How can I get in touch with them?" CHAPTER 2 Mike walked up and down the street in front of the Institute. He'd arranged to get away from work today, but just didn't have the guts to go in. The next time he walked past though, a cute girl opened the door and motioned to him to come in. "I can always tell when we have a rookie outside. You guys just pace, acting nonchalant, and pretending to ignore us. My name's Dan. Welcome." Mike was totally confused now. "You mean you're a guy too?" "Of course I am, and I work here. As a woman, I might add." Mike could believe that. He hadn't detected the slightest masculine trait in Dan, neither his appearance or voice gave him away. Mike was really impressed as he followed Dan into the building. Dan was dressed in a short-sleeved navy dress with a flared skirt. His brunette hair was done in a short page boy, and Mike could tell that it wasn't a wig. Earrings, a bracelet, low- heeled navy pumps, smooth legs in nylons, and light cosmetics completed the picture of a young woman that Dan presented to the world. Mike wondered if it were possible that he could ever look as good. "So what can we do for you?" Asked Dan. "My name's Mike. Mike Taylor. I heard from an acquaintance that you might be able to help me." "What seems to be the problem?" "I don't have a problem, it's just that I'm a TV, I haven't dressed in years, and I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing." "Say no more Mike. You've come to the right place. The first thing we'll ask you to do is to fill out a questionnaire. It's just to help us decide where to start you out since we offer guidance, coaching, and training to transvestites at all stages, transsexuals also." "I'm sure I need to start at the beginning." Said Mike. Mike answered the questions on such things as his home life, sexual preferences, work, education, and prior experiences with dressing. After reading it over Dan told him. "You're a beginner all right. You're in luck too. We have a beginners class starting up in two weeks. It meets Tuesday and Thursday nights from 6 pm to 10 pm." Mike wanted something settled before he went any farther. "How much is this going to cost me?" "Not a cent dear. Except what you choose to spend on clothing and make-up. All services provided by the Institute are gratis." "And I can leave any time and never return?" "Sure, although most of our alumni return for refresher courses, and some for what you might call graduate education. There is one thing we ask of you before you start. We finish every beginners class with a formal ball, and require each graduate to be escorted by a man, or a woman in drag. Now some of them have boyfriends or girlfriends, and some of them don't. For the latter, we ask incoming students to act as their escort for the ball. Now if it bothers you, you needn't participate, but we find it to be a broadening experience, and a good beginning to your association with us." ****** Mike felt kind of strange as he pressed the doorbell. Here he was picking up his date, dressed in a tux and carrying a corsage, and his date was a man. Mike reviewed the Institute's rules for the evening. No advances whatsoever were to be made on his date who, he'd been told, would not appreciate it. He was to act like the perfect gentleman escorting a date to a ball. He was to treat his partner as a lady and absolutely no reference was to be made in public to the fact that they were not what they appeared be. The door opened. "Hi, you must be Mike. I'm Henrietta. Come on in." Henrietta sure didn't talk like a girl, but at least he could pass for a woman in public, even if he made a rather drab looking one. Henrietta was the same height as Mike, about 5'6" one of the reasons they'd been matched, and wore a dress of black taffeta covered with black lace, mid-heel black satin pumps, and nylons. He hadn't put his wig on yet, but had finished applying his cosmetics. "Have a seat while I finish dressing." "Just like a girl," thought Mike, "they're never ready on time. "I guess your real name is Henry?" Asked Mike. "You would think so, but it's Pete. If you don't have a girl's name picked out for yourself, you get to draw a slip of paper out of a box, and whatever name's on it is yours to keep; unless you absolutely can't stand it. The two men made small talk and Mike found himself more and more at ease with Pete. Upon discovering that Pete was a stockbroker, Mike resolved to bring him his business. This, he had been told, was a side benefit of the Institute. Many of the alumni were influential individuals, and while absolute confidentiality was the rule, they did tend to band together in a sort of 'old boys network'. Pete's wig was dark brown, and fell down his back, long and straight. When he was finished dressing, Mike held out his short black fur coat for him just like a gentleman, and they were off. The ball was at a club in Queens and they went in Mike's car. They had a pretty good time. Mike even danced with Pete; at Pete's insistence. It seems that some of the classes had covered dancing and Pete had never had a chance to try it out for real. Pete danced very well, following Mike's lead gracefully. When it was over, Mike took Pete home and walked him to his door. "Well goodnight Henrietta." "Goodnight Mike, I'll see you around." As Pete was going in, he turned around. "I had a wonderful time Mike. Thanks. And good luck at the Institute." ****** Mike walked up to the door of the Institute. Tonight was his first class. He'd been given a sheet of instructions which said that he didn't have to bring anything to the first meeting where he'd be given instructions about future meetings. It had recommended that he start dieting and letting his hair grow if he wanted to make a serious commitment to dressing. He did. CHAPTER 3 Time was passing quickly for Mike. He really looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays. He was learning everything he needed to know to disguise himself and pass as a woman. The classes had started with a lesson on vocabulary as there are so many words used by women that men never hear. Mike learned to discuss fabrics and fashions, cosmetics and hairstyles. Like most TV's, Mike was inclined toward the big busty blonde look and tight sensuous clothing, but he learned that the best way to avoid unwanted attention when dressed up was to dress down. The class took some field trips, such as one to a beauty salon where they learned about all that goes in that mysterious haven of women. Mike decided to stay with his natural auburn hair color, buying a wig in that shade until his own was long enough to go without one. He decided on a style; long, but acceptable for a man, which could be quickly and easily converted into a fashionable women's cut. Mike fancied that he could sense a definite personality evolving in his feminine alter ego. Mike wasn't sure just how far he wanted to go concerning crossdressing, but he did know that he wanted to see if he could pass in public. He decided to cool it with Beth for awhile, dress up to his hearts content, get it out of his system, and then settle down. He had been calling and seeing Beth less and less, and finally he stopped calling her entirely. ****** One evening at class, all the guys were asked if they had taken a girl's name for themselves. Those who did not were asked to select one at random. Mike was one of these and drew a slip of paper from a box. He looked at it. Your name will be AMANDA "Amanda!" Mike said. Mike was tempted to reject the name at first, but the more he thought about it, and the more he repeated it to himself, the more he was taken by the sweet name. Yes, he would call himself Amanda. CHAPTER 4 Leslie van Damme was a troubled man as he rode the private elevator up to his penthouse apartment. He let himself in, threw his coat on a chair, and plopped down on the couch. He cursed his bad luck. "Why can't I even once have a normal relationship?" Leslie asked himself aloud. His date tonight had been even more of a dud than usual. After cooling off he got up and went to his bedroom telling himself the answer he knew so well; "You can't have a normal relationship because you aren't normal." That much would have been obvious to anyone able to observe as Leslie unzipped the short black crepe cocktail dress he'd worn that evening, stepped out of it, then hung it up in the closet among all his other designer dresses. Taking off his high-heeled black sandals, he placed them in the closet also. Leslie unhooked his black brassiere and tossed it in the hamper, his pantyhose and panties soon followed. Removing his earrings, watch, and ring he put them in his jewelry chest. Leslie's problem was that he didn't know where he fit in. He wasn't a transsexual, although at times he was tempted to just give in and change his sex for the sake of being able to lead a normal life, even if it was as a woman. He wasn't even a transvestite by inclination. After his father and mother had separated, from the age of five, Leslie had been raised as a girl by his mother and his older sister Justine. Every care had been taken to ensure that Leslie never developed any of the masculine characteristics which his mother found so offensive. In addition to a steady diet of female hormones, Leslie was raised in an atmosphere where he was exposed only to women. On the secluded van Damme estate, all the servants, workers, guests, and Leslie's tutors were female. By the time he was twenty one there was no way to undo what had been accomplished; Leslie didn't look like a man, and he didn't now how to act like one. He had never even worn any masculine clothing. He couldn't pass as a man no matter how hard he tried. Leslie wasn't particular as to the sex of his partners, he enjoyed both men and women with perhaps only the slightest bias in favor of the girls. The problem was that he wanted a stable and fulfilling relationship, but the people who were able to accept him as he was seemed incapable of one. On the other hand, those people who were sensible and well-adjusted emotionally seemed to find the prospect of sex, or a relationship, with him too extreme. Leslie had been out with an old friend, Sheila, who knew his circumstances, but when he had attempted seduction she found it humorous and rebuffed him politely; he was left feeling lonely, angry, and incompetent. Leslie examined himself in the mirror. He was 5'9" in his bare feet. Long legs, nice rounded thighs and buttocks, narrow waist, and ample B-cup breasts. With his hair in a long pageboy, the resemblance to his sister Justine was remarkable. He grabbed his flaccid cock and started to play with it. "Well old friend it looks like it's just you and me once again." He headed into the shower. ****** Meanwhile, in another section of the city... Beth Wagner was a troubled woman as she rode the elevator up to her apartment. "Another date with a loser." She thought to herself. Beth hadn't heard from Mike in some time now and had decided to go out with other guys. She had thought a lot of Mike; he was good-looking in a soft kind of way. He had excellent manners and was always a gentleman, and he had a good future in front of him at his law firm. She wondered why he didn't call anymore. Was it something she did ... or something she didn't do? It must be another woman. Mike had never tried to seduce her and she had never indicated a desire for sex to him. Perhaps he needed a little encouragement. Beth could be very strong-willed when she wanted to, and she resolved then and there to find up what Mike was up to and win him back from whatever woman had tried to muscle her out of the picture. ****** Meanwhile, in yet another section of the city... Mike Taylor was euphoric as he rode the elevator up to his apartment. He let himself into his apartment. In the living room he stopped to look in the mirror. Mike scrutinized his reflection. He had done it. After all those lessons he'd finally dressed up all the way. He had pierced his ears, applied long false fingernails and polished them bright red, shaved his entire body, and applied every trick he'd learned at The Institute. The result was spectacular. Mike had never imagined that he could look so pretty and feminine as a girl. Dressing up was worth every penny and every second he'd invested in it. Mike wore a simple knit dress. It was brown and matched his low heel pumps. Over his left shoulder he had draped a designer scarf; his one indulgence in fashion. His jewelry consisted of a simple string of pearls around his neck and one in each earlobe, and an aquamarine ring he'd bought himself. Mike put down the purse he carried, poured himself a stiff drink to calm his nerves, and sat down on the couch where he sipped at it. Mike considered the lipstick stains he left on the glass and meditated on his success this evening. He had actually gone out in public dressed completely as a girl. Granted he hadn't gone far distance wise, just a couple of blocks to look in some shop windows and right back, but he had travelled light years in attitude. Several people had seen him and none of them thought he was anything but what he appeared to be. Why one man had even smiled at him. Mike was exhilarated; he had passed in public for the first time and, by the way he felt, Mike knew that it wouldn't be the last. CHAPTER 5 Leslie had just finished dinner with his sister Justine, in New York on one of her trips, and once more had recited his litany of woes concerning romance to her. "You know Les, I always tried to convince Mom that you'd be happier as a girl, and that she should finish the job she started. "Oh come off it Justine." "No, I'm serious. Why don't you come with me to my island for several weeks? Once my clinic get done with you, I guarantee that no one will ever be able to tell that you weren't born a girl." "But I like girls Justine. It's just that every one that I take a liking to thinks I'm too far out." "Then conceive of your ideal girl and make her." "What are you talking about?" "I do it all the time on the island. You choose the attributes, physical, emotional, and psychological, that you want her to have, then create her." "I don't understand. How do I create a girl." "Well, we usually start with a man. If you handle them right they never get over it. A woman who used to be a man is never arrogant or presumptuous; she has lost the ability, besides men are more easily brainwashed ... ." Leslie listened in rapt attention as his sister described how to compose the perfect woman. ****** "So you mean to tell me that you can do all that?" Leslie asked his sister. "Of course, and let me tell what else I've been able to do. Do you remember Bob Watson who passed through here?" "Wasn't he the TS you guys took a special interest in? You took him back to The Island didn't you?" "Yes, and there I ran him through this new procedure Dave Weinstein developed and when it was over, he was a girl. I mean fully female inside and out. Last I heard he was the mother of two." "You're kidding me!" "You know me better than that Leslie. I never kid." "Where is old Bob these days? I'd like to see this for myself" At this last remark Justine shot her brother one of those icy looks that told him he was treading on thin ice. "You don't even want to know Leslie." He dropped the subject like a hot potato. ****** A couple of days later Leslie wandered idly through the Institute of which he was nominally the director of, although his primary responsibility was to ensure that any instructions Justine issued were carried out. He had no idea what all she was involved in and some of the tasks she had him complete convinced him that didn't really care to know. Looking at a bulletin board Leslie saw a flyer announcing a graduation ball for the latest beginner's class. Leslie hadn't been to one of those in a while. He recalled that they could be interesting and he had that new gown at home. He stopped by Dan's desk and picked up a ticket for it. ****** Leslie mingled incognito at the ball drawing many admiring glances in his gold lame strapless evening gown. He had seen several of the graduates tonight who looked interesting. He went to the bar to think about how best to approach them. Someone bumped into Leslie and he spilled his drink. "Oh, I'm so sorry." He turned and was face to face with an angel. Mike had opted for the virginal good girl look tonight. He wore a simple gown with a long-sleeve black velvet top studded with faux pearls. The skirt was made of cream colored satin and was poufed with a crinoline. Leslie stared at the beautiful girl in front of him. She was a delightful vision; so feminine. So pretty. Was this one of the students? He was perfect. Mike wandered back to his date and Leslie turned to one of the counselors. "Tell me. Who is that?" "His name is Michael Taylor and he has just finished our beginner's class. Pretty good isn't he?" "Hmmmm." Leslie liked what he saw, and thought, "If he looks like that after the beginner's class ..." He recalled what Justine had said: "Well, we usually start with a man ..." "Bring me his record tomorrow will you? "Certainly." CHAPTER 6 The next morning Leslie pored over Mike's record. "H'mm this might work." Touching the intercom he said, "Dan, find Gail Williams and have her come see me will you." Leslie finished his conversation with Gail. "Just do what it takes to keep him around here. I have something new I want to try on him." Mike had been surprised to receive a phone call at home from someone named Gail at the Institute. He was even more surprised when their conversation was over. It seems he'd been named distinguished graduate and was being invited to attend the next level of classes. Not only that, but he'd also been awarded a $500.00 gift certificate for Tiffany. Classes started next week. Back at the Institute, Gail said to Leslie: "It worked he's in." "Excellent. Thank you very much." After Gail had left, Leslie dialed a number. "Hello. Miss Wagner? You don't know me, but there something you ought to know about Mike Taylor." ****** Mike was already for his class tonight. He sprayed a little perfume behind each ear and freshened up his lipstick. Tonight he wore a simple sweater and skirt set with flat shoes. The class was going on a field trip to a female impersonator show. It didn't matter that most of them were better at impersonating females than the cast, it was part of their education into all aspects of crossdressing. Mike grabbed his purse and opened the door. Beth was waiting in the hallway. Her unknown caller had alerted her as to what would be going on tonight. She heard Mike's door open and someone leave and close it behind them. Peeking out she saw a girl coming towards her. No it couldn't be. She hadn't believed what she had been told on the phone, but here was the proof of it. Beth stepped out into the hallway with her camera ready. "My Gaaaawd!. Mike? It is you." "Pardon me. You must have me mistaken with somebody else." "So that's why I haven't seen you in months." Mike was scared stiff and knew he was trapped. "Please Beth, don't cause a scene." "I'm not the one parading around in the wrong clothes." "Look I just did this for a masquerade party tonight." The camera came up and the flash went off. "Try another one. And to think I thought I was falling in love with a pansy." "Please Beth." She took another picture. "Too late Mike, or is it Michelle these days?" "Just don't tell anyone. Please?" "I won't, but I'll just keep these pictures as a momento." ****** Beth lied. The pictures were all over town. It wasn't long before George Fisher, one of the senior partners, asked Mike to step into his office. "I'm sorry Mr. Taylor but we can't keep you with the firm. I assume you know what I am referring to?" "Yes sir. I do, but can't you ..." "You don't seem to understand that we'd be the laughingstock if this got out. The competition for clients is intense and this could be used against us. Please pack your personal belongings and leave. We'll pay you for another thirty days and issue you your severance." ****** Mike was distraught.Every firm in town seemed to know about his dressing up. He was effectively blackballed from working as a lawyer. How had the word gotten around so fast. ****** George Fisher was on the phone to Leslie van Damme. "Well I did what you wanted, but I don't mind telling you that I didn't like it. What that young man did was harmless and now he won't be able to work at all." "Don't worry Mr. Fisher, believe me when I say that eventually it will all turn out for the best. I want you to know that my sister and I never forget a favor, so look for some good news in the future." ****** Mike entered his apartment building. He was down but not out. true he had lost his job and been blackballed, but the firm had provided a generous severance payment. He had just deposited a check for over $30,000 in his bank account. He saw his landlady standing inside the door. "Good afternoon Mrs. Mills." She said nothing, but handed a slip of paper. He read it. It informed him that he was being evicted and that this constituted the required 30 days notice. "What is the problem Mrs. Mills." "Oh we have heard all about your antics at night Mr. Taylor. Dressing up as a woman and bringing home strange men for Lord knows what kind of orgies." "But Mrs. Mills..." "I'll hear nothing of your excuses. You're out!" "You can't do this, I know my rights I'm a lawyer." "That's not what I hear." "You're just trying to get me out because of the rent control so you can raise the rent. I'll complain to the City." "Go ahead. The nice lady who told me all about you also explained that I could kick you out for this with no trouble." "What lady." "Her name was Miss Wagner and she was most helpful." ****** Mike found himself talking with Gail, who was running his new class at the Institute. "I just don't know what to do Gail. I've got some money, but I'll never find another rent-controlled apartment before it's all gone." "I've got an idea Mike. Why don't you live here." "Here?" "Did I stutter? Yes here." "How could I?" "Let me tell you about this place. The top floor is a penthouse for the exclusive use of the director. The next two floors are studio apartments for the use of staff or clients who need or desire them." "I could live in one?" "I think I could work it out." "How much would it cost me?" "Believe it or not, it's free. Just like all the services we provide. There are some requirements though." This sounded too good to be true to Mike. "What are they?" "Well supposedly the apartments are reserved for pre-operative transsexuals who are learning to live as women before they qualify for surgery." "Well, That lets me out." "Not really. I can tell you how to beat the system. All you have to do is say that you want to change your sex. As your counselor I'll confirm it and get you in." "But I don't ..." "Just hear me out. You enroll in the program. Now as you may be aware, before anyone is allowed to change their sex they have to live and work as woman for a year while undergoing psychological counseling. One of the things they'll try to do is get you to change your mind. So, after a year all you have to do is tell them you've changed your mind. They'll even let you stay here to readjust. You can live here for over a year rent free, and by that time maybe the heat over you're being fired will have cooled down and you can get hired somewhere." "And it's that easy?" "Sure. You'll have to dress as a woman all the time and participate in program activities. You'll have to do some work around the institute, but you'll receive a generous stipend." "Sounds great. where do I sign up?" Mike especially liked the thought being able to dress up for a year with no trouble. He worked his way through the paperwork applying for the program. He halted for a minute at the legal papers. He thought twice about some of them, especially the general power of attorney and consent for surgical procedures. "I'll be out of here before those will ever be needed." He thought to himself. When he was done, Gail shook his hand. "Welcome Mike. I'm sure you'll enjoy your stay. You can move your stuff in any time." "I'm afraid I don't have that much stuff, especially if I'm going to live as a girl." "Well you're gonna need it. Tell you what, I'll hook you up. Next Monday get dressed and meet me here at ten." ****** Mike stood in line for the cashier. When it was his turn he handed her his credit card. "Thank you ma'am." Mike blushed and looked at Gail who just smiled at him. He had been surprised that morning when Gail had handed an envelope. Opening it, he found inside credit cards for every major store in New York; all in the name of Amanda Taylor. "How did you ever?" "Don't worry about it. It's just another service that comes with the program. Our boys have to establish credit as girls so we help them out. The Institute has guaranteed those cards so don't go too crazy with them." "Don't worry. I don't even know where to start." "I figured as much. That's why I took today off. Let's go." Mike signed the slip and took his card back, putting it in his wallet which he then replaced in his purse. "Thank you for shopping at Macy's," said the clerk, as she handed Mike his parcel. Gail had brought him here because they had pantyhose on sale. "You'll be surprised how much you go through," she had told him. He bought a dozen pair. That evening Mike padded around his new apartment in his stockinged feet. The first full day of hiking around town in heels had taken it's toll, but Mike didn't feel badly at all as he opened another box, took out a lovely peach blouse, and hung it in the closet. Gail and he had gone everywhere; Sak's, Bloomingdales, Macy's, and others. Gail told him not to speak too much until he had some more voice lessons and to stay away from trying on lingerie while wearing falsies. He'd listened to her and everything had gone perfectly. In every store he'd been in he'd been accepted and treated like what he appeared to be: a young stylish woman and a valued customer. "This could get to be fun," thought Mike to himself. CHAPTER 7 Mike winced as the needle entered his butt. He'd been told to report for a physical and now it was drawing to a close. "There you go." Said the doctor. "That large a dose will change your hormonal balance to female. All you have to do is maintain it with daily pills." The doctor wrote out a prescription. "Pick this up outside and take one every morning." ****** Mike stormed into Gail's office. "What the hell is going on here? I go up for physical and the next thing I'm shot full of female hormones." "Calm down Mike." "How can I? What's going to happen to me?" "Nothing Mike. Look it's part of the program. It would look funny if you wanted to change your sex, but didn't want to take hormones. They won't hurt you at all. They'll just make your skin softer and you might see a little breast enlargement, but you'll return to normal after you stop taking them." "You're sure?" "Of course. You have to take the more potent hormones to see any dramatic changes. Tell you what. Let me give you some tapes to listen to at night. They'll make you feel much more at ease. Take one of these sleeping pills before you go to bed and leave the tape playing." "O.K." Mike took the tapes and left. Gloria felt bad giving them to him, but that's what Leslie wanted. If Mike kept listening to them and worked his way through the entire set, Gloria knew first hand what they could do to him. She had heard about how they had affected Bob Watson, and how he had begged to be let become a woman. She also recalled what they had done for her. Gloria had come to the clinic for help after her sex-change. It hadn't been voluntary and she didn't want to be a woman, only to kill herself. After listening to the set of subliminal tapes it had been easy to accept what had been done to her. In fact she really enjoyed being a woman now, and a wife. ****** Mike was riding up to his apartment on the elevator one day. a pretty girl got on and joined him. Mike thought she looked familiar. Then he remembered who she was. "You're Dan the receptionist aren't you?" "Yeah, How are you doing? Mike right?" "Yeah, but it's Amanda here." "Great. Say I thought you were a TV. What are you doing here?" Mike smiled at her. "You know how it is." "Yeah, I sure do." They got of the elevator and walked down the hall together. "So how long have you been here Amanda?" "Just a couple of months." "Would you like to come in for a minute. I have something I'd like to show you." "Sure." Mike followed Dan into his apartment. "Check these out. I just got out today." Before Mike could say a word. Dan had undone his blouse and removed his brassiere. "Aren't they magnificent?" Mike had to agree that they were as fine a set of tits as he had ever seen. He found himself feeling envious for some reason. "When are you getting your implants Amanda?" Mike was thinking about something else as he replied dreamily. "I don't know. Maybe someday." ****** Mike found himself talking to Gail about breasts. He'd been obsessed with them lately. Ever since Dan had shown his off. "What's it like having real breasts Gail?" "Oh it's lots of fun Mike. Why? Are you thinking about implants?" "I don't know. It might be easier for me, I could shop for lingerie, and go swimming with being afraid of losing a falsie. It's just that I don't want anything permanent." "Well, you can have implants removed anytime. They're not permanent." ****** Mike got up, it was time to see the results of the operation. Standing in front of the mirror he untied the sash and let his robe fall open. Mike stared at his chest. Where before there had been only the slight swelling of budding breasts there were now two fully developed ones. These additions to Mike's changing body were considerable and they hung from his chest like ripe papayas. As he stared at the feminine protuberances, Mike realized that from now on a brassiere would be essential; an unpadded one. Mike doffed his robe and looked over his whole body, from this aspect his new mammalian protuberances did not seem out of place at all. From his daily aerobics, Mike's thighs were round and strong. His hormone diet had caused his to hips bulge out in female proportions. A side glance in the mirror revealed to Mike that he now had a plump girlish fanny. Turning back to a frontal view, the only thing that looked unfeminine and out of place to Mike were the tiny genitalia suspended between his thighs. Reaching down he took the shriveled penis in his manicured fingers and tried to stimulate it to an erection. No such luck. The endocrinologist had explained to Mike that the more powerful hormones would have the effect of decreasing his sex drive and frustrating any male sexual responses for some time to come. Mike had asked for them anyway. ****** "You know Mike while you're waiting for people to forget about you at the law firm, perhaps you'd like to try our next level of training." "What's that?" "You're dressing as a woman all the time now so the next step is to work as a woman." "How could I do that?" "It's easy. We have firms that cooperate with us in hiring some of our trainees, usually pre and post-operative transsexuals, although we have placed a few TV's here and there. I'll be frank with you. One of the reasons this works is that these companies know that most of the time they'll be getting the skill and knowledge of an experienced man at a woman's wage. Which I'm sure you're aware averages only 49% of the earnings of comparably skilled men. Now with you're legal background I'm positive that we could get you hired in no time, but first let me schedule you for some classes." "What classes?" "Oh, the usual; typing, shorthand, stenography. CHAPTER 8 Mike came into Gail's office. he was crying and his mascara was running down his cheeks. "What's the matter Mike?" "It's my boss, Ed." "I know Ed. What's the matter?" "Well he's always trying to hit on me, he grabs me, he brushes his hand on my breasts whenever he gets the chance. Today he took me to lunch and afterwards he kissed me. I mean a real kiss with his tongue." "What did you expect him to do Mike?" "I don't know, but not that. He knows I'm a man." "Well, this may come as a surprise to you, but you look like a gorgeous woman. Didn't you ever stop to think that maybe some guy would come on to you?" "No. Not really. I don't want to do any fag stuff." "Now Mike, I'm not saying you should do anything, just that rejection without investigation is the mark of a small mind. Have you ever been kissed by a man before?" "No! Of course not." "Then how did you know that you wouldn't like it." "I just did." "Look. I don't want to push you into doing something you don't want to, but I think if you could keep an open mind you'd discover many new and wondrous things." "I'd like to keep an open mind, but ..." "I know. Say, I've got it. Why don't you take some more of these tapes we have and listen to them? Maybe they'll help you over this hurdle." "Maybe I don't want to get over it. I've listened to your tapes before and look where it got me; into a c-cup brassiere." "Don't you like your breasts? I think they're lovely." "Yes, but ..." "Then you should thank me and take the new tapes and listen to them." "O.K., but that's all." "Good. I'll go get them." ****** Mike listened to the tapes every night. He didn't feel any different. Every day he went to his job as a secretary in a law office and every day he had to fight off his boss Ed. then one day Ed came in and apologized. "Amanda, I'm really sorry for the hard times I have been giving you. Why don't you let me take you out tonight and make it up to you?" Mike found himself saying; "Sure. That would be very nice Mr. Byrne." It had been very nice. They'd gone to a play then out for dinner and drinks. Mike found himself in Ed's apartment having a nightcap, well his second, or was it his third?" Ed leaned over on the couch and gently kissed Mike on the lips. "You're very beautiful Amanda." "Thank you, but you do know that I'm a boy." "Oh yes Amanda. Ever since you came to work for me. It turns me on." Mike giggled. They kissed again, this time a long lingering one. Ed unbuttoned Mike's blouse and Mike relaxed in a trance-like state as Ed pulled his plump breasts out of his bra and started kneading them. Then he sucked on one. It felt so good. Mike hadn't known. Ed stood up, loosened his belt, and opened his fly. All the drinks, combined with the tapes he'd been listening to, put Mike in the right frame of mind for what came next. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of Ed's briefs and pulled them down. Mike giggled as Ed's hard cock popped out of it's confinement. It seemed like ages since Mike had sported a hard-on like that, and right now he didn't care. Mike traced a throbbing blue vein with a long red fingernail. Without thinking about it, he leaned forward a ran his tongue along the vein. "This isn't so bad." Thought Mike. Mike had expected to feel ashamed or something, but instead he felt wonderful. With one hand he grasped the shaft and guided the engorged cock head between his carmined lips, with the other he fondled Ed's soft nut sack. ****** Mike found his situation amusing. He had listened to the tapes so he wouldn't be revolted by a kiss from a man, and now here he was getting fucked up the ass. Not only that, he was enjoying it. ****** After that evening, Ed and Mike were lovers. Occasionally Mike found himself giving Ed a blow-job in his office during working hours, but this only whetted Ed's appetite for his sexy secretary. Eventually they arranged to meet on Wednesday afternoons, when Ed was supposedly playing golf, at an out of the way motel where they could fuck and suck to their hearts content. It amused Mike as he thought, "I've become a mistress." ****** Ed shot his hot load up Mike's ass. Pulling out his spent tool he snuggled up to the pretty boy and ran his hands up his soft curvy body. "I just can't get enough of you Amanda. You're beautiful and the best sex partner I've ever had, not to mention the best secretary. Why if you were a girl I'd marry you in a minute." Later on, while Ed dozed, Mike pondered that remark. CHAPTER 9 "So how are things with Ed Amanda?" "Great, but I have the feeling that they could be better." "What do you mean?" "I'm not sure, it's just a feeling I have." "I have another couple of tapes that might help you be more at ease with him." "Those last ones sure did.... Why not?" After Mike had left, Gail called up Leslie. "I just gave him the last set of tapes. ... Yes, he's coming along fine. ... I give him two to three weeks." ****** Mike took the sleeping pill and didn't worry about a thing as he drifted off to sleep. Maybe he would have if he could have heard what played in his ear all night. " ... you have always wanted to be a woman. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise ... " ****** Mike was sitting in Gail's office as she spoke to him. "Your year is over Mike, it's time to tell them that you don't want a sex-change and get ready to start being a man again." "Gail, ... I've been thinking. Maybe I do want to be a girl." "Do you realize what you are saying?" "Yes. I think so." "Are you sure about this Amanda?" "Not really but, I've realized can't ever go back to being a man and Ed loves me; I want to be his woman." "Well, if you're absolutely sure." "I am." That afternoon Mike took a leave of absence from his job. ****** Justine van Damme was surprised by Leslie's insistence; he was usually so deferential to her. "I want some of that drug you invented Justine." "Which one?" "The one that turns boys into girls." "Finally going to change over eh? Well it's not that simple." "I don't want it for me. I did like you suggested and I've been working on the perfect woman. He's almost ready." "I don't want to use up this drug. I only have a little and once it's gone I don't know when if ever I can obtain more." "C'mon Justine. I did this on your advice, doesn't my happiness mean anything to you." "O.K. Les but you owe me for this." Justine made arrangements for Dr. Mason to come to New York with the necessary drugs and equipment. ****** It was time. Mike felt as if he was in a dream as he rode on a gurney into the Institute's surgery. "Hi Amanda. My name is Dr. Mason." An IV was started in Mike's arm and he lost consciousness. The drug took effect and Dr. Mason warmed to her task. "Mike, you have the body of a beautiful woman. You are sophisticated, but not vain. Stylish, but not trendy. You find men with blonde hair to be most attractive, and the longer the hair the better. You are strongly attracted to men who like to dress like girls. It's cute and it's sexy, you find such a man irresistible. You want to share your clothes, body, and life with a man who wears dresses ... " Leslie smiled as he watched Dr. Mason build his dream girl to his specifications. Afterwards he asked her how long it would be. "With the testicles removed it'll take about six weeks for his body to change. He won't know what's going on. Just keep him in bed thinking he's healing until it's over." Later that evening Leslie had a conversation with Ed Byrne. CHAPTER 11 Mike met Ed at their usual rendezvous and they proceeded to the Hotel. As Ed showered, Mike disrobed, taking off his jacket, skirt, and blouse and hanging them up. He stood there in his underwear considering the contrast between his businesslike suit and the frilly lingerie he wore beneath it. Mike hadn't worn a bra today, just a white satin camisole dripping with lace. His nipples were erect, having been titillated, if you'll pardon the expression, by the satin concealment whenever his prodigious breasts jiggled. Mike took off his camisole and matching half-slip, leaving on his tap pants, garter belt, and nylons. Letting his hair down from the businesslike bun he'd worn that day, Mike sat down on the bed. He left on his black spike heels, they were a bitch to walk around in, but he knew that Ed appreciated the way they made his legs look. Mike stretched out on the bed in the most seductive manner he could think of. Ed entered the room with a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw his pretty she-male secretary laying on the bed, half-dressed and looking ready to fuck. He could feel his cock get hard. "Boy I really missed you Amanda." "I missed you too Ed, but I promise that I'll make it up to you." "Great." Ed grabbed Mike and hugged him tight while kissing him. Ed played with Mike's breasts then grabbed his panties and pulled them down. He was thunderstruck. Instead of a tiny impotent cock there was a vagina. His she- male had become a she. "What is this, a fucking joke?" "No dearest. This is my offering to us and our life together." "You've got to be kidding. If I wanted a girl I would have had an affair with Cathy, or Nancy, or one of the other secretaries. I liked you the way you were." "But Ed, you told me once that you loved me and that if I was a girl you'd marry me; so I went and had it done. I changed my sex for you ... for us." "You don't think I meant that literally do you? I meant it as a compliment. Besides you know I'm married." "So what. You told me that both of you have lovers and never sleep together." "So what! How would it look if it got around that I left my wife for a gal who used to be a guy? I'd be laughed right out of the bar association. I'd never work again, I'd be blackballed like you were. Remember? Lawyers aren't expected to be perfect, but they sure as hell had better be discreet." Ed dressed and left the hotel just as soon as he could while Mike sat and cried. He didn't remember going back to the Institute but found himself in the lobby crying. His life was over. He'd thrown it away for nothing and didn't know what to do. He heard the sound of high heels on the floor and looked up to see a tall gorgeous blonde woman looking at him. "Hi my name is Leslie." "I'm Amanda." "Can I help you Amanda? You seem to be in some kind of trouble." "I don't think you can help me. I don't think anyone can help me." "I don't want to be nosy, but is it man trouble?" "Yes ." "Well maybe I can help." "You wouldn't understand." "Maybe I would you see I'm a man." "So am I, or I was until ..." Mike broke down and started bawling loudly. Leslie sat down and pulled Mike's head to his breast. "There, there. Don't worry everything will turn out fine. Why don't you come up to my apartment and we'll talk about it." Leslie helped Mike to the elevator and they went upstairs. ****** Mike sipped his drink. It had sure helped calm him down. "I'm not sure now, how exactly I wound up like this. All I wanted to do was dress like a woman once in a while. Now I am one." "And the world's a better place for it." Leslie told him. Mike felt drawn to Leslie. He looked at Leslie's long blonde hair, it was so pretty, and his dress, wow! Mike didn't want to leave the comfort of leslie's presence. He found himself hoping secretly that Leslie might want to kiss him. ****** Late that evening on a trans-oceanic phone line. "You were right Justine. It worked." "I'm always right." CHAPTER 12 Time flew by for Mike and Leslie and in what seemed like no time at all Mike, wearing a white satin peignoir set, found himself eating breakfast with Leslie's sister Justine, who was helping him today. They made small talk until Justine told him; " I think you'd better start getting ready." They went into Mike's dressing room. "So do you have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue picked out?" Justine asked her brother's fiance. "Not really." "Then let's see what we can come up with. For starters, I'll lend you a pair of old blue panties." "... And here's a new bra. I noticed that all of yours are C cups, but when you were being measured for your trousseau I copied the figures down and they say that you should be wearing D cups." Mike had noticed that he was uncomfortable lately, but hadn't been able to discover the problem. "How could that be?" He asked Justine. "I'm sure I don't know. "These breasts of mine have gotten so big. Maybe I can have some of the implant filler removed." "Oh. Didn't Les tell you? The filler gradually gets absorbed and replaced with body tissue." "No. You mean ... ?" "Yes dear. Those are all you by now and to be comfortable a girl should always wear a properly fitted brassiere." ****** Mike sat, alone in his intricate wedding gown, waiting for what would come next, when the door opened and Justine walked in. She had changed into wearing a masculine looking black tuxedo. There was a man with her and Mike blushed deeply when he recognized him; it was his old boss George Fisher. "At least he'll never recognize me now," thought Mike, but he was proved wrong when Justine introduced them. "Mike this is Judge Fisher. Judge may I present my brother's fiance, Michael Taylor?" Mike was crimson as George Fisher stuck his hand out. "We've met before," said Fisher as he took Mike's feminine hand to his lips like a gentleman, "although our last meeting was under slightly different circumstances." Mike tried to compose himself and for lack of anything better to say, said; "So it's Judge Fisher now?" "Yes , I was elevated to the bench about six months ago. In fact, I am here today on official business." "Really?" "Yes, I'm going to conduct this mornings ceremony, but there is a little preliminary business to attend to." The judge took out some documents. "I hope you understand Michael, that what I did at the firm, I did as an officer of the firm and not as an individual. Let's leave the past behind and pretend it never happened." "That's fine with me," replied Mike. "Excellent. I'll get down to business then. I have before me a petition for a change of name from Michael Taylor. Raise your right hand Mike. Do you, Michael Taylor, swear that the information contained in this petition is true to the best of your knowledge and that it is not offered with intent to deceive?" Mike was a little bewildered by the proceedings , but he answered yes anyway. "Sign here please, and will you sign as witness Ms. van Damme." The legalities taken care of, Judge Fisher announced; "By the power invested in me by the people of the State of New York, I proclaim that, from this day forward, your name shall be Amanda Michelle Taylor." Judge Fisher straightened out the many documents. "Here is your copy Amanda. You should receive an amended birth certificate in about three months. Now I'd better hurry or I'll be late for the wedding." He left the room. "Well Amanda, I think it's time. Shall we go?" Asked Justine. "Just let me get my headpiece on." Mike positioned the headpiece and arranged the veil so that it covered his face, then picked up his bouquet. "I'm ready." Justine took Mike's elbow and guided him to the door, from beyond which could be heard the beginning strains of the Wedding March from Lohengrin. Mike was relieved to have Justine's assistance; otherwise he would have had trouble with the voluminous skirts of his gown. He mused for a minute, thinking how peculiar it was that such an unconventional bride and groom should wed in such a conventional ceremony. Mike walked to the altar and, like every bride on her wedding day, he looked radiant. Leslie had wanted to wear a gown also, but Mike and Justine had talked him out of it. Instead, he wore a white satin tuxedo which only served to emphasized his curvaceous body. Long blonde curls tumbled out from under his top hat and his feet were shod in white satin high heeled pumps. Dawn, Dan, and Henrietta were the bridesmaids, beautiful in their long gowns. Justine handed Mike over to Leslie and they all turned to face Judge Stone. "Do you Amanda Michelle Taylor take this man, Leslie Serge van Damme, to be ..." THE END