I would like to make clear one thing: This story is not intended to demean women. I always had a pretty good relationship with the women in our groups, particularly with Angela, whom I helped as much as I could to cope with her sometimes difficult private situation (she had a little (!) son at that time, and her husband was very often on business trips). She was really sad (as I was) when I left my position to take over other resposibilities. On the other hand, with the cool eye of a scientist I'm looking at my erotic and sexual fantasies and don't suppress them as I think they are one of the most natural things. In my mind, there's a friendly co-existence between caring for my family, taking seriously men and women, scientific and cultural interests, love and sex, and sometimes the desire to write w/s nonsense stories for e.g. Thomas' Watersports Resources homepage. But I'm sure you're understanding what religious nutters, self-appointed censors and CDA idiots never, never will understand. ************************************************* The Fourth Wave by Roland, February 1996 I'm a pee listener. No, that's not exactly true, as I would prefer free flowing Golden Arcs, but in real life it's so hard to see something like that. Listening to pee is only a second order approximation but certainly better than nothing. Unfortunately, I never dared to seduce a girlfriend into the w/s fetish. Maybe, I missed something in my life. To be shy doesn't give you an edge. Also I'm an amateur scientist interested in all kind of m/f biometrics: who has the largest breasts, who has the longest penis, and particularly, who has the larger bladders, men or women? To solve the latter mystery, I restlessly was looking for capable women (men's figures are more easily accessible for obvious reasons) and estimating their bladder capacities. Given my natural shyness which restricts me to listening, I developed a sophisticated theory to estimate the quantity of pee after having timed her peeing and analyzed her pee noise characteristics. Actually, I'm developing a pee-o-mat, a fancy device which analyzes the pee noise spectrum and is able to calculate very precisely the pee flow rate over time given the shape of the bowl and the geometry of the loo, but I'll keep this still as a secret until I've applied successfully for a patent . But before I perfected my theory of peeology, I did a large field research, and one of my richest sources of experimental data were the women in my company, which I joined several years ago as a young SW developer. Let me tell now the story of Angela, a developer's colleague, whom I could monitor more exactly than others. Angela was a dark haired young lady, in her mid 20's, small, height about 163cm, but really sexy with a firm body (she did a lot of sports), a nicely shaped bust, an even more nicely shaped bum, and a preference for mini skirts. Minis are nothing unusual now, but she managed to attract all men's attention to her musculous thighs as she had the habit to constantly pulling down her skirt which always tended to end well above her knees. The first time she attracted my attention (I mean a very particular attention) was on the Munich Oktoberfest. Everyone knows the Munich Oktoberfest, so let me skip lengthy descriptions. It's a tradition of our company's groups to visit the Oktoberfest once a year, and also this year I found myself in one of those huge Beer Tents, sitting just in front of Angela. In such a tent there's always a terrible noise, called "Blasmusik" (caused by a Bavarian brass-band variant), and people have to yell at each other, and with the aid of some kind of gesture-language you'll manage some basic conversation. A very communicative place indeed, and the next day you'll have lost your voice almost entirely. Doesn't matter, we all have email. Yelling makes thirsty, but this is no major problem. The eagle-eyed waitresses spot every empty or nearly empty mug and "Bang!" a new one is on your table, just for you. I drunk one mug, Angela drunk one, and then we decided to make fifty-fifty and we had another half mug each. I didn't want to get too much dizzy as I had the plan to test my own hardware by riding a new big dipper kind of a g-load nightmare with 5 built-in loopings (I passed the test, but it took me quite a while to calm down the chicken in my stomach). Much input causes much output, and this is a problem as it's difficult to get to the loo facilities through the crowd, they are very questionable, you have to join a long queue, and peeing outside isn't a viable alternative as a lot of guardians keep an eye on illegal outdoor pissers which are running the risk of getting a heavy fine. So I was always waiting as long as I could to delay that cumbersome way to relieve myself. Obviously, Angela did the same and I was very curious how this small girl would deal with that much beer. She dealt very good: as long as we were together before I started my g-load HW test, that is for three hours, she didn't go. I had to take a closer look at Angela's drinking and peeing habits. At that time, I had to fix a lot of SW interfaces with people of Angela's group and this sent me rather often into her group's room at various times of the day. Slowly, but steadily all pieces of the puzzle were forming the following picture: She would arrive at about 8:00 a.m. and start work at her PC with a large cup of coffee. Alternating, one person of her group would then go to our in-house shop and buy something for his/her colleagues, second breakfast, sweeties, beverages, etc. Angela regularly ordered a 1l-bottle of water which she would consume by and by after having drunk her cup of coffee, while typing in her SW. At about 10:00 the bottle would be empty, at about 10:30 her bladder full to the brim, then she would go to the toilet. The more demanding part was to figure out was going on in the loo. We were working in two large buildings which are connected by a towerlike center-part which houses entrance room, staircase, lift and men's and women's rooms. On each floor, the men's rooms are located at the right, the women's at the left side of the lift-shaft. One day, I was waiting for the lift, I saw Angela coming along. It was about 10:30. "Hey", she said, "Hey" I replied and she entered the lady's room. All toilets have a door-closer device which would keep the outer doors tightly shut automatically. But either the spring mechanism had faded or the door latch mechanism was calling for some drops of oil, this particular door didn't latch properly and stayed open in a crack. In other words, this loo wasn't acoustically sealed. Great. "Bang" made the cabin door inside. I heard the rustle of her skirt being lifted, "zizzz" the slip coming down, and then I noticed a peeing style I never heard before. She didn't let it simply go, no, she squeezed out the content of her bladder in three tremendous tidal waves of a really hard piss as if she tried to pee a hole into the bowl. After the three waves, the stream died slowly away and the show was over. Of course, I knew the "jetter/dribbler" style of peeing, but what really stunned me was the immense peak pressure of her stream. This was a real challenge. To estimate a constant flowing pee isn't that difficult: e.g. take a 25s pee at an estimated flow rate of 20ml/s, then simple arithmetic gives 500ml pee. But for this strongly varying waves I needed a more sophisticated flow model and a peak flow rate estimate. But first of all, what's needed was to collect more experimental data. Her fairly regular habits of arriving in the morning, drinking coffee and the water bottle, followed by her peeing made it fairly easy to have a lot of engineered encounters at the lift. Either I had some notes in my hands which attracted my full attention exactly when I was passing by the lift at about 10:30 so I had to stop walking for a moment, or I played the "I'm waiting for the lift, but the fuckin' thing won't come" game. The hit rate was pretty good, about one, two times a week. It has been said that women seem to be fairly consistent as to the pee style that they adopt. Angela wasn't any exception and I got the following profile: Three waves, each 8s long, then a "tail" of a slowly decreasing flow of 10s - 12s duration. That's what an amateur scientist likes: reproducible observations. Total peeing time between 30s and 40s, well above the usual 10s to 20s trickles our ladies normally showed. That's what I like so much: the contrast between being a small girl and having a large bladder. One day, I got a nice double feature. At the peak of Angela's second wave, a door went open and Steffi, a colleague of another group, came out heading towards the ladies room. I slowly left my listening position continuously staring at my notes, turned round at the right moment as if I had forgotten something, went back and was passing by the ladies room exactly when Steffi opened the door. It was the first time I could hear Angela's pee unfiltered for a short moment. She was at her "tail trickle" now and the sound was stronger than I expected, maybe I should re-estimate her flow rate figures. Steffi entered a cabin, locked, pulled down her pants, and started to pee almost exactly at the moment when Angela stopped. I expected Steffi's lovely splashing noise getting drowned by Angela's flush, but to my surprise, Angela didn't flush and I could hear Steffi's pee at full length. This puzzled me. O.K. there's another reason to use the loo, and women sometimes have a third one, but my unbridled fantasy ... Was Angela listening to another women's piss? Who knows, the human soul is inscrutable. Steffi had produced one long wave with a flat maximum, total time about 30s. Also well above the standards and much easier to handle for quantitative estimates, I should put Steffi next onto my list of girls to monitor (which I did. Steffi was more difficult to investigate as she had more unpredictable peeing times, but as I found out later she also had quite constant habits and peed between 25s and 35s, but that's another story). One day, destiny hit me. I got a call from my boss and he told me to come over into the office of his boss. Didn't sound very good. I entered my boss's boss room and there sat the two men with straight faces, let me sit down and my boss's boss started a lengthy speech. I've forgotten the details but basically he said: "Young man, you've enjoyed a long period where you could bridge the time between breakfast, lunch and dinner with playing computer games, having a nice chat with your colleagues, flirting with our entertainment factors (he meant our female employees). Now you're old enough to face the more serious side of life: To attend boring meetings, to learn to write volumes of meaningless notes, to get blamed for things you're not responsible for, to get drowned in bureaucracy, to restlessly make time schedules everyone knows they are absolutely impossible to meet." In other words, he offered me a position as a manager of a SW developers group. Of Angela's group. One of my first duties was to have individual meetings with all people in my group to talk about project status, tasks, schedules, the usual stuff, you know. For my first meeting with Angela as her new manager, I tried to readjust mentally my relationship with her. She wasn't anymore the sexy babe from the other group to flirt with, no, now she was a genderless human resource I was responsible for. I must confess, I had some initial problems with that mental shift as you will see now. For the sake of comfort and privacy (and coffee supply;-) I asked my new boss whether I could get his room as there was always a shortage of meeting rooms and I myself had to share a room with another manager. He gave me a 2 hour time-slot for the next day: from 10:00 to 12:00, and at 10:00 the next day I entered Angela's room to pick her up. The bottle was empty, my mind full with fantasies I couldn't suppress as much as I tried. We entered my boss's room, I asked her to take a seat, offered her a cup of coffee (which she accepted) and I started walking through our agenda. There were a lot of things to talk about: not only about status of our project, task re-assignments, assessment of her work, but also about her plans to work partial time for family reasons. A really full agenda, and I took my new responsibilities as her manager very seriously and discussed everything very carefully in great detail. A furtive glance at my watch: 10:30. It's pee time, My Lady. I immediately pushed away my thought and tried to focus on her job matters. My human resource sat there in a mini well above her knees and had the most seductive smiling I ever saw in her face, or was this only my imagination? I continued with some task re-assignments but as much as I tried I couldn't ignore the fact that she definitely didn't suffer from cellulite. It was about 11:15 when I started to fight against another distraction of my mind. Was this an accidental movement or did she clench her lovely pair of thighs? And didn't she change her position more often than usual, crossing and uncrossing her legs? I tried hard not to lose the thread of our discussion and entered the most subtle part of our meeting: her partial work plans. We talked a while about the optimal way to balance her private and our companies interests when I peeked at her abdomen while battling against my fantasies of a slowly growing balloon full of you know what. Didn't she palpate her tummy?? This reminded me of an ex girlfriend who had the habit first to palpate her bladder for a while before she finally went to the bathroom to let a flood of pee. It was past 11:30, more than a full hour past her normal peeing time and now you couldn't overlook that she was fidgeting. But obviously, she didn't want to lose any time or to disturb the concentrated atmosphere of our meeting, and she didn't go to relief herself. And what was that? She put her thumb at her waist band and pulled it as if she wanted to lower the band's pressure onto her abdomen. Was the waist band squeezing in her greatly bloated bladder? If that was true, then her bladder would have reached nearly the level of her navel. Well possible after having drunk a breakfast coffee at home, a large cup of coffee at work, one litre of water, and another cup of coffee during our meeting. An exciting perspective ... I was in a fascinating conflict. On the one hand, there sat a genderless human resource and I was scrutinizing all possibilities to reconcile private and business needs, and on the other hand I couldn't help but looking at her as a very seductive girl with a bladder at bursting point. To make things even worse, my body was now reacting: my dowsing rod started to point to the vein of water which was forming right in front of me. At about noon, my new boss returned and we had to finish our meeting. We had a small talk with him, then we both left his office. A little bit faster than usual she was heading towards her group's room but as I expected she turned left sharply as she arrived at the lady's room and dashed in. I followed her slowly and found to my great satisfaction both floors deserted. I arrived at the ladies' room exactly when Angela started her first wave, as vigorously as usual. At the second jetter, I was looking at the crack of the not properly latching door and then suddenly a great idea jumped into my mind. I recalled my physics text book, chapter "diffraction and radiation emitted of a slit". Clearly, the door not only was damping the noise, but also cutting off the lower part of the noise spectrum! To hear her pissing in acceptable acoustic quality, I had to push open the door a little. Which I did very cautiously after having checked that both floors still were deserted. Angela was finishing her third wave and then I heard her to take a deep breath and with a moaning she pressed as hard as she could and I heard a mind boggling fourth wave in full hi-fi stereo sound quality. As I stated above, Angela was an athletically inclined young woman and my fantasy let me see her sitting nude in a group of other nude women and all were doing a new particular aerobic exercise: to pee as far as possible, and Angela outperformed them all to the great delight of her trainer (me). Then Angela entered the last dying-out-dribbling phase and I carefully closed the door again, called the lift and went down to the basement to recollect what I've heard just before (to tell you the complete truth, I also needed the loneliness of the basement to slowly get rid of my, well, you understand that I was rock hard). Let's sum up: 4 waves at 8s each gives 32s, plus the trickling tail of 15s gives 47s total peeing time. But I still had to model the waves and to make estimates of the peak flow rate. Let's assume a initial flow rate of 20ml/s, a very conservative estimate of a peak flow rate of 40ml/s, and a sinusoidal shape of each wave, this gives after integration ... I should postpone this calculation for my Macsyma math pack I have on my Pentium machine. I would also renormalize Angela's jetter/dribbler peeing style to a continuously flowing reference pee of 20ml on the average, but I smiled as a knew one thing for sure: Angela was a new, lovely, pretty, sexy member of my Full Minute Gushers Club. <>