Copyright (c) 1996 by Shadowlight Kommunikations. All contents are the sole property of the respective authors and Shadowlight. No material can be reprinted without the express permission of the authors and Shadowlight Kommunikations. Shadowlight 88 Rangituhi Cres, Porirua, New Zealand. PREFACE Obsidian Sky is a collection of visions and writings from a number of people around the world who work with Hela, the Dark Goddess of Northern kozmology. These workings celebrate She who is everything and nothing, She who is in everything that exists, but beyond all existence, She who is both life and death, She who can never be completely explained or seen in Her totality. Those people who have become Her children, those who have had Her speak to, and through them, come from diverse back-grounds. There is never a prevailing characteristics amongst them, they are young and old, female and male, and both gay and straight, She simply chooses those very few who are able to hear Her call. In doing so She offers the chance to taste that which is Eternity itself, to become aware of the depths of the kozmos, to feel the flow of Wyrd within their veins. "The Victory Is Within" "Ours Is The Law Of Wyrd, Other Than That There Is No Law" "It Is All In Her" Special thanks to all those of Her who have contributed to this collection: Wulf Grimwald, HD Baynes, Andrasta Nemhain, Asynia, Jan Erik Enger, Hawk Helson. All thanks and glory to She who made this possible, to She who has inspired all that exists, .....She who is everything and nothing. Gothi-Gydja A°A°I 1996 ce. HOME I dream of halls of stalactite Where days are pitched, Er' more the night. Where mist entwines As wind does blow, And coldest still Elivagr flows. And in the cold but welcome halls, We wander dreamlike, free. Bid cast ourselves, hard down to drown, Within the roar, we see. * * * I I am the paradox of the kozmos The eternal female of male and female Black and White are within me, as are red and green. The Maiden and Crone, with rotting flesh and seductive beauty. He who approaches me may repel with horror, Not at my rotting flesh, but at my beauty. I am the young maiden whom men desire to their own self-destruction. Better for them that they behold me in the state of age than youth. The woman who approaches me does so in bliss and understanding. The moon drips my blood, and those that are my kin sup that blood in ecstasy. Lay down beneath the darkened skies and contemplate each and every star, and the moon in all its phases. I am girt with starry splendour and the radiance of luna, that sends men mad with desire. Reach out into the kozmos for me, For I am never-ending. I am within all, and yet without. A part of the All, and yet apart, a paradox that cannot be discerned except by the grace of my Gift to those who comprehend me with their inner being. For I am presenced within those who call my Name, And seek the Eternal Feminine, within themselves and within all Creation. I am She within whom the radiance dwells, Yet my nature is misunderstood and slandered by the moral idiocies and mortal lim itations of man. Who sees nothing but black and white in conflict, and not conjoined. For does not Balder himself stand with me, sharing my grace, awaiting the great N oontide, As my guest, That there may proceed the new on the death of the old? And where could there be new ground without Me? For I am also the mother who suckles the newborn, For the dawn of a coming day that shall be of greater splendour, But not before the utter agony that comes with the pangs of birth. Maiden, Mother, Crone, Maiden, Mother... unto Eternity I am the manifestation of the cosmic law of death and rebirth and regeneration, And it is all one and the same without difference. * * * R.G II The runes are cast and the Wyrd unravels And cannot be reversed. The Wheel turns relentlessly. For he who interferes with its movement condemns himself before all creation. Such is the inexorability of it All. I await you, those who detest the rotten, With a seductive smile, And my hand beckons the chosen, And those foolish enough to think they are, but are not of Me. For in me there is Doom and Joy. Come, I await you with blood overflowing, and compassion unbound, and severity for those who are under my curse. Brilliant is my being amongst blackest gloom. And joyful am I in countenance to those who can withstand pure joy, free of restraint. With love and curses, the world I will enter, in the hearts of men and women. We fashion our weapons from Ice, For we are cold of heart for those who can know no warmth. For our warmth is that of Fire, A fire that cleanses, And they who are of stout Will arise from the ashes mightier yet. * * * R.G I devour my children Like Annis and Lilith But with the devouring embrace of a mother An exquisite pain that brings Death As the prelude for Rebirth. Are you an ascetic to deny yourself the abundance of the Earth? Partake and deny yourself not. Am I not Crone, and maiden and Mother, Offering the fullness of Myself For those who dare approach? Sup from my fullness. It is yours for the asking, Who enter my cavern. I am pregnant with the future Light from Darkness. I Invoke the dead, With night's cold hands upon the doors of reason. Pain and Death, Mortal fears for mortals, There are no easy answers. Life gives and takes life's picture of the past, They drift still, In memories half buried. The graves of the young and hopeful, Who like the old and hopeless, Death steals the sweet breath from their lips. Lick the spittle that drools from an open wound. A fatal wound in life. Caste upon the waters, Cool and ripple, Free below the surface the skeletons of effort and black supreme. She waits no more in the Darkness, A glowing spark of light. Once again She offers the Gift, A small round dead bird. Its chest swollen with death or pride. It drops to the earth, To rot and turn to dust that blows away. * * * H.B WITHIN HER Night stretches out, lengthening into an Eternity. The silence follows likewise, echoing and growing. Growing upon itself till a state of clamour. 4 And outside the wind whistles yet again; Finding it's way into every crack. The God of the Wind's a miserable character, So malicious and yet with the intent of a blundering child. But enough of him for through the smoken haze, Through tunnels cerebral, I hear a choir calling. Yet again She has come to me. Her journey planned and considered; Beginning as a thought, Beneath the ground, She entered the Gift, She entered my hand, And entered my mouth. Such a journey of but one part of Her, And yet that part, Once within me becomes a totality. That which was but a shard of Her presence, Blossoms, Expands, Filling every part of me so that I cannot -if I felt such a desire- Shut her out. For She is already within me and bides Her time till She departs. And yet when She leaves, She'll still remain; Deep rooted, a grip on my soul. A voluntary slave am I, Welcoming Her clasp, For such a clasp brings me freedom. Freedom to understand, to know. With Her I see past the inconsequential veils, Deep into the true nature of All. Of Her All, of Mater's All, One in the same as I am the same. She guides me through Her maze, Calling me towards Her and yet walking beside me. Beside me yet behind me, all ar ound me yet within me. I choose not to resist Her call, Resistance is useless, Yet this is not defeat, This is not submission. It is playing the game, Playing the Web. For when I see with Her, Play with Her, Dance with Her...I touch Eternity. Eternity, that which She is, Spirals before my touch, Spinning away like my train of thought. Both are immeasurable yet precise. For with Her Gift I sense, I touch, I feel, I hear, And I taste Eternity. What has been and what will come. It echoes in my senses like a familiar friend, Returning again to the point of de parture. Reliving, Returning, Replaying, As has been, Is and shall be. And yet every times She plays The Song, The notes dance with anewed deftness, Time wised and wary, yet filled with the primal energy of a new birth. It is all in Her. Within Her eye that Eternity spins, Within Her veins the blood of Ages boils, Rises and falls. Within Her folds the Web is spun, Within Her the Web is played, Within Her am I - playing. She brings me Death with Her Gift. Its kiss is oh so near, And yet it is a Gift and She the Giver. She knows the power, The potency of the Gift and She knows who I am... Whether I am ready for Her, For that touch of Death, To descend and rise like a bursting ball of seeds. To feel that cold warm hand, Her hand that is Death and yet the hand that is Life. And have I attempted the labyrinth, Have I sung The note? Is it for me to answer such questions, For She knows and none need know besides. Whether I have I do not know, But this I know for She has told me: "Cry not from the mount when the peak is achieved, Mark it not with a grandiose banner. For those that truly play, That truly spin, That truly shatter structure, Need not cry it aloud. The victory is within, Within My soul, Within your soul. So without the glory is hollow, A vain posturing. Glory without that which is without But Glory within that which is within, And that which is not to be known For all Her ways are as precious as Amber, Sacred and secret; And yet her ways are open to all and closed to all. She that is Life and She that is Death, By Living Her, and Dying Her One grows. Like the Gift, Shooting up from the beginning thought, Growing in the Darkness, Her Darkness, Within Her womb, Learning, Living, Loving And dying. * * * AAI HELSONG Sing a Song, for She who is the Goddess, The Goddess that brings me to my knees To worship at Her Gate. For Her we traverse Elivagr, By Mordgud, Over Gjall. To sup of Her, To touch Her raiments. For Her we taste the ground weaned Gift, And drink the sour mead. For Her we sit betwixt the shrouds, Beneath Her moon, beneath Her stars. Beneath the Sun At midnight, Beneath its hues. The Sun few see, but the few do marvel. * * * AAI (14) OMNIA/NIHIL Writing in a transfixed state. My back against the Sisters of the North Wind. Riding a state of mild adjustment. Riding a crest of inhaled experimentation. In such a state I find myself (though I be not lost), Before lifting and falling veils, Between twin pillars, Between twin serpents. And yet my position is not changed from the present, Though the lights dance (but in my eyes alone). There is life, throbbing in my head. I can feel its presence, Pounding, Pounding like a synthetic drum. Drilling, persistently at the depths of my eyes. And I feel this life, seeping, Flowing into every pore. Stealing its way into entireties crevice. And yet in a blink, the life is gone. That which was Omnia is Nihil... But that which is now Nothing is still Everything, As Everything was Nothing. In my state I arrive at a temple. A monument so vast, so immense, so everything. It is a structure that surpasses all. It is an edifice without rival, A celebration of that which is everything. But as I watch, the strength of totality tears the walls apart. The pillars rent like crippled parchment, (and parchment falls like stoic pillars), The windows shatter into Eternities restless debris. Surety replaced by the bitter winds, rasping, grating upon the stark reality. Through desolate tears and tortured throat, devotees mourn momentarily-lamenting a loss soon forgot. A memory is but what they wish to recall; The else that was everything, confined to a existence of not existing, of being nothing. But what of the preposterous ones? Those who danced in a singular shaft of light, crying "I am All, I am the One, I am Everywhere"... Surly and smiling She laughs, Recalling those that crowed as dust upon Her eye, Gone in a flicker. Those deemed divine by none but themselves, Those who proclaimed their omnipotence, Their totality, But denying She who is Everything and is Nothing. The Demiurges are gone, their dance quickly culled. The everywhere gods fade, degenerating into an erratic senility. They try to pay the Eternal Dancer in Everything, but pay in Nothing. And as they slip from the masses momentary mists... ...She dances on. I can see her, Climbing higher than the Aethyrs and lower than Hel. "Live, she lives" the voices cry, synthetic but real, crying from every corner of the world. There is worship in the rivers and acclaim in the snow, The birds call her name, and the grass whispers it in hushed tones. Walking through her choirs, Rustling their branches in song, I spy Her once again - Darting through Her world, Flickering till She is Nothing And yet shining with the intensity of Everything. When Nights of Nothing and Everything fall, I see Her yet again, The Sun at Midnight, When all mix as within a Wyrdic Cauldron, And her stars shine brilliant with the spectrum of unimagined hues. I rise to meet her, Spinning, Caught in Her sorrow and euphoria. Momentarily I am lost within Her, Feeling the pain and bliss of Everything and Nothing, Searing through my veins. I fly with Her, Over lives that are ephemeral but eternal. And I see my own life...ending; A life of Everything and Nothing, An illusion perchance, A butterfly's dream. But my Everything is Nothing to Her, And yet my Nothing pains Her deeply, For though I dance with Her, Here and always, She dances alone. And as I die but for a moment, She whirls away, Dancing into the distance, Into an horizon of Everything and Nothing. * * * AAI ETERNITY With the haze still fresh, hung 'pon the air, My gaze is fogged, my fingers frozen, Separate from my touch. And visions, Visions of dancing In Obsidian sky, Beneath the darkened Rune, With star affixed with permanent gaze. Into Her eyes I stare. She is the sky... the rune, the air. The sky so dark, So total a hue, Shines and sparkles with the sight of all others. And in those hues, those stars, those sights, Evershine Her eyes. Like cold but warm stoned gems. Giving yet holding back, Caring yet distant. And She gazes for Eternity. For She is Eternity, Past, Present, Future, Urda, Verdandi, Skulda. Her past is distant and She remembers when... Those first colours did dance, Alone, Together. When kozmos formed within the gulf. Where flake and flame did join. When Ymir woke, When Audhumla fed, How the three did walk upon the shore. And all She saw, though distant then, Coming closer when She bade Her time, Retreating when She chose to hide. But always close, always there. Though the children dance with indifferent air. Ere when their dance doth fade again, And new gods come anew, She remains, still caring, still distant, Cast amongst the clouds, amongst the Earth, Among the towers of salten drip, And curtains of the hardest silk. In halls of frozen life and death, Rune carved, rune blessed, runar. * * * AAI I I am holding a silver coloured staff in the shape of the Ear Rune. I enter a very narrow, long but high, pitch black cave. After a while of journeying through this I come upon a sticky mass of blood, ankl e deep, which I walk through... I come out of the cave to a river or lake. At the water's edge is a man dressed in ragged clothes, made of what looks like s acking. However the man himself is a healthy looking, golden-haired youth. With him is a dog. The man offers me his boat, which I ferry myself, alone. I use my runestaff to fe rry across. I reach a shore heaped with skulls. Atop one, near the water's edge, is perched a raven. The raven lands on my shoulder. It whispers in my ear: "You have come to the land of Hela." I proceed through the skulls with the dog (or another dog?) and the raven. The skulls give way to a vast field of daisies. Stretching out beyond these is a lush, green landscape, a brilliant blue sky, and green hills in the distance. The distance is walked until coming to the hills . There is another cave within the hills, but this is aglow with a silver brillianc e. I walk through this with the raven flying ahead. Hela sits upon a large chair. She is a beautiful young woman. One side of Her face is painted black, and one half of Her dress is black, the o ther white. She states: "You come here expecting a Crone? But am I not both Crone and Maiden?" She touches my right shoulder, stating: "In death there is life. Decay gives birth to new life" I feel invigorated by her touch, and depart. Leaving the cave, there awaits a large horse, which I ride back over the land I h ad traversed. It is now completely fertile and devoid of skulls. * * * * R.G (20) II I plunge down a vertical hole in the Earth, which is very deep. At the bottom is a cavern although too low to stand in. Entangled throughout it a re roots from a large tree. I push through the entanglement and reach an ice-covered lake. This is ringed by fire. I walk around the lake and come to a narrow cave. It is infested with rotting cor pses. I see a lantern hanging from the roof ahead. I take it and proceed. I come upon a lake, and lean down to look into it. An arm reaches up from the water and pulls me down. A young woman guides me under the lake and out into a cavern. In the cavern a bearded nobleman, his arms folded in the death posture, lies on a stone funeral casket. On each side of him stands a sentinel, holding a sword, point downwards to the gr ound. Beyond this, I am greeted by another woman. She is dressed in black, but has pure white hair, and black painted fingernails. She offers me a goblet of wine. I drink, but the wine turns to blood in my mouth, and trickles onto the ground in large quantities. She drinks from her own goblet, and blood springs from it like a fountain, gushin g over the earth. We both laugh - rather hysterically. The blood covers the earth entirely. * * * * R.G A large Grey Wolf, Covered in Snow and Ice, Hangs by its hind leg From a Wolf-hook HDB (22) III The forest floor is knotted with roots and lumps of emerald green moss. Tree trunks, straight and tall, crowd the landscape. On one of the mounds of moss, a young handsome couple copulate. She can see his muscles straining with excitement, as he looks into her eyes and pounds into her being. Suddenly, in the background, a large black horse races through the trees. Its eyes bulging, the horse is foaming and sweating. The horse runs into the forest. A small bird drops dead from the sky. The young woman is copulating wildly with a skeleton. Autumn leaves blow across the forest floor. * * * H.B (24) IV The rune stands straight out of the ground, white almost luminous in the still o f the night. Hela! She bursts from the rune in a swirl of black and white. Falling back inside th e glyph, She struggles through the warm rich soil and out into the silver light of the moo n. The Goddess is strangely beautiful in Her stark white burial shroud, long youthful fingers are cupped and offered. In Her hands lies a small brightly coloured dead bird. She drops it to the earth and walks off into the trees. * * * H.B (26) SCOTIA All is enveloped in cloudy, pearly-white mist. Hela appears within the mist, Seated upon Her throne and garbed in rainbow hues. In Her hands She holds a bowl, and this She offers to me. I take the bowl and see that it contains rich, brown earth. As I continue to look, red blood begins to form a pool within the soil. A flash of colour catches my eye, and my national flag emerges from the mist and flutters ragged in the distance. I thank Hela for what She has shown me, And depart. * H.H * (28) SVARTALFHEIM Through the door I walk onto a large wooden bridge. Blue sky above, surrounded by green fiords. A huge river beneath me. I climb onto the edge - jump! I fly. Flying over the trees, I land amongst them. It's darkish, a coolness in the air. The trees are bright moss green. I start walking through the forest, Noticing small shaded elves walking around promptly. I call out to them, attempting communication. But I'm ignored and they walk faster. As I walk I'm suddenly confronted, A small group of them. They are translucent black, faces twisted, Snarling at me, wanting me alert. So I turn and run, as I do... I Fall, Falling down a small waterfall. I land in a shallow pond. Surrounding me amongst the shadows are Bright coloured childlike drawn flowers. I sit and observe. Content. * .ASYNIA. (30) EAR I walk through the door. Icy blue river - vast It's cold, extremely cold, very strong current Going down stream Tossed around in the water. The water is blue-black, Frighteningly calm. Am surrounded by tall black walls of rock. Very misty, a slim pass between these walls. Float through. A shining, glimmering black wall ahead. Feels cold and smooth, rough in places. Entrance! I push through. There's a stream, rocky edges, Small stones, green banks either side. I climb out of the water and look. Trolls and dwarves, a battle in progress. Each trying to get on either side. I watch, then walk around it; On the horizon A thin line of bright, silver, Shimmering light. * .ASYNIA. (32) I I walk into a large garden. There is a river, with a waterfall - Ear glistens within it. Behind the waterfall - a cave Walking through the cave I reach a passage, Spiralling downwards -anticlockwise. I reach the end of it and enter a wasteland. * A.N * II I wander into familiar surroundings. Into a cave, a giant troll-like figure stands guard, Eventually letting me pass. I walk down the spiral passage. Nearing the end, the ground starts to rumble. I find myself riding a giant white serpent. Exiting the passage, I fall off, and the serpent slithers down a giant hole into the ground. * A.N * (34) EAR Darkness surrounds me I walk, no, I float, onwards, Or does the darkness float towards me? I see pictures of a beautiful woman, A long white dress And long dark hair Beautiful Suddenly I see a face Half, a glowing black skull The other, a beautiful woman But the face is flat, a drawing, dead. Far ahead I see a light opening. Seeing through it, Woods and fields, where sheep graze. Hills and a lake. On the sky I see an outline, the head of an enormous wolf. The world goes black, then like a negative. A wolf-head crosses the sky, jaws agape. Suddenly, the world is as it was, the sheep graze. Upon a road, light brown cows pull a wagon The windows are curtained, It is driven by a coachman. The wagon disappears over the hill. Sheep graze in the distance, unreachable. Suddenly, I find the corpse of a sheep Is there death here? Something moves in the distance, A big black cat. The road leads on, In the middle lies an opening, That floats in the air, I enter. Darkness. A Black Sun, ringed with fire Set with a thousand stars. I float towards it in a spiral motion, And stand upon its hard cold surface. Looking up, Into stars and a fire-fog, Ahead stands the pictured woman. A long white dress And long dark hair Beautiful She is Hela She is death. * J.E.E. (36) SHADOWLIGHT KOMMUNIKATIONS KATALOGUE AMANITA WOD: Booklet exploring the Fly Agaric mushroom. Its history and modern sh amanic application. :$5.00 US/$5.00 NZ IL IADNAH: Illustrated work of the Enochian Keys. Enochian & English translations , notes are given. :$7.00 US/$10.00 NZ KEY OF ALOCER #3: Articles on Astaroth, Fly Agaric, Lineage of Cain, Hela, and N S. Interview with Stephen Cox of Balder, and with Primordial etc. 48 A4 pgs. :$6.00 US/$10.00 NZ KEY OF ALOCER #4: Articles on Monotheism, Sumerian Mythos, Darkness, Satanism & Fascism and Opium. Interview with First Occult Church, and Spear Of Longinus. :$6.00 US/$10.00 NZ KEY OF ALOCER #5: Articles on NS, Babalon, Fascist Satanism, Lovecraft, Babylonia n magick, Drugs. Interviews with Satanic artists in an art special. 52 pgs. :$6.00 US/$10.00 NZ KEY OF ALOCER #6: Articles on Atlantis, Aryans, Drugs, Pagan Satanism, Tradition, Martial Arts and Magick. Interview with Cthulhu Records. 52 A4 pages. :$6.00 US/$10.00 NZ KEY OF ALOCER #7: Articles on Lilith, Martial Arts, Helish Magick, Alternative S exuality, Physics, Astronomy. Interview with Diamanda Galas. 56 pages. :$6.00 US/$10.00 NZ OBSIDIAN SKY: A celebration of Hela through vision, poetry & art. Regular edi tion $10.00 US; Deluxe edition $20.00 US RUNEQUEST: Runic pathworkings by founder of The Black Order, shamanism in the Ger manic Mysteries. :$9.00 US/$15.00 NZ QUESTIONS ANSWERED: An introduction to The Black Order :$5US SHADOWLIGHT PROMO TAPE 1995: Promo tape with six tracks from GOTHI-GYDJA AAI and eight from PANTA RHEI. :$5.00 US XAOS:343 Disunified Field Theory Tape: Collaboration between members of GOTHI-GYD JA A°A°I & ZEN¥TEN. Two half hr trax of schizophrenic noise and samples. :$6.00 US/£4.00/$10.00 NZ SYLVAN MORT: Limited photographick artwerk by AAI. A serene scene from death's g ate. Block-mounted, measuring 22cm-16cm. Packed in black wrap. Limited. :$20.00 US/£10.00/$45.00 NZ SHADOWLIGHT PENTACLE: Hand-crafted for altars. Measure 22cm, quality wood, in the themes of zodiac, septenary, elements, festivals; or personal designs. :$85us/£4 0. Personal $100us. COMING SOON: Clothed In Shadow Are We book & tape; Mari-Ama cassette LP from GOT HI-GYDJA A°A°I; and long sleeve shirts. Cash only, to: Shadowlight, 88 Rangituhi Cres, Porirua, New Zealand. (39)