NOW THAT THE 90S ARE OVER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now that the 1990s are oever, we can drop many of the stupid fads from that time. It is a new century, after all. So here is a list of the stupid things from the 90's that we can stop listening to, or stop watching, or stop doing, or stop saying. This list has only 10 items at this time, but they encompass a lot of the total wrongness of the 90s. 1. Madonna ---------- Actually, madonna is a product of the 80's but she appeared a lot (more than anyone wanted) in the 90's. Hey guys; she's over 40 now! NEXT! 2. S.U.Vs aka Sport Utes aka minivans aka Bimbo Boxes ----------------------------------------------------- They block the view of legitimate drivers. They encourage their drivers to drive more aggresivly then they normally would. The whole entire "road rage" thing did not become a problem until the bimbo boxes became so common. And the gas miliage is terrible. And they are ugly. 3. N sync --------- This is one of those stupid annoying no talent sounds-like-shit bands that just appears out of nowhere and spews really bad music all over. I don't know where they came from but can we send them back? After all, they're so 90s, and we are done with the 90s. 4. Boyz to men -------------- This is another one of those stupid annoying no talent whining 90s bands. They can't even spell "boys" correctly. Enough of them! After all, they're so 90s, and we are done with the 90s. 5. Political correctness ------------------------ Say what you mean, mean what you say. Here is a list of P.C. phrases and to their English equivalents. memorize them. Correct the speaking/writing of others as often as you can. Bullshit English ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ physically challanged Handicapped My bad My fault s/he he or she value add usefulness rectify fix pre owned used proactive fast proactively quickly information systems specialist computer operator application test analyst software tester daytime running lights total stupidity he has issues he has problems I take issue with that I have a problem with that issues with this software problems with this software compatibility issues compatibility problems (remember: the only one who has issues is the collector of periodicals!) in hospital in the hospital team player slave quality assurance quality control software engineer computer programmer software developer computer programmer programmer analyst computer programmer develop software write programs intellectually challenged stupid (or retarded, even) cerebrally challenged retarded socially challenged nerdy vertically challenged short athletically challenged smart artistically challenged colorblind vegan vegetarian A Vegan (pronounced "VAY gan") is someone from the Vega star system. The word was used as early as the 1950s in published works of science fiction (such as the "Cities in Flight" novels). Because of that prior usage, pronouncing it "VEE gan" and using it to refer to a vegetarian is incorrect. customer care customer service server waiter or waitress waitperson waiter or waitress client server network computing Dodge caravan bimbo box minivan bimbo box SUV bimbo box sport utility bimbo box vanagen bimbo box electronica synth music (or "electronic music") facilitate help facilitator helper architected made architectured made architecting making wetlands swamp s/he he spokeswoman spokesman handyperson handyman chairperson chairman Remember. The chairman is a chairman even when she is a woman. leveraged used leveraging using Unless you are talking about physics or about a lever or about moving a heavy object, you should not use the word "leverage"! utilize use utilized used utilizing using oceania Australia geo-scientist geologist downsizing laying off (or firing) upsizing hiring (or re-hiring) magick magic vampyre vampire politically correct full of shit value add methodology holistic Those last two phrases have no meaning. If you find yourself using these words, you actually are saying nothing. Cancel your presentation. Don't write that book. Close your mouth. Stop. 6. Day time running lights -------------------------- What moron came up with the idea of driving with your lights on in the day? DUH! It's a bright sunny day, and you add the glare of your head lights to the glare of the full sun? That's stupid! For the stupider of you people, I'll use an analogy: when you walk in the day time (if you do - some people only walk where their car can't go!), do you carry a lit flashlight? No!! Why! Because you can see fine and anyone who can't see you is so blind that the light would help not at all! So don't drive with your headlights on in the day time. Make sure the next car that you buy can be driven with the lights off (ie - don't buy a Volkswagon). When you are driving and someone else is driving along the road with their lights on, blink your lights on and off rapidly to let them know that they are driving incorrectly. It's the civic-minded thing to do. 7. Ugly chicks -------------- Who told the women that thin eyebrows, black lipstick, flat chest, and ribs showing was sexy? All you women; eat something heavy with meat in it and then go back to what women were doing in the late 70s and most of the 80s. Your 90s styling is Wrong. 8. teletubbies -------------- Need I say more? 9. Grunge music AKA alternative music ------------------------------------- Ok. Take some 70's rock, play it sloppier. Make sure most of the band members have small bits of facial hair (just sideburns, or just a goatee). YAWWWWWWN. That is so 90s. 10. Martha Stewart ------------------ Did we need some smarmy chick to tell us how to do everything? No! Ditch Martha, she's so 90s. The 90s are over. Go find something to do.