The ultimate drug - a fictitious story by kabak http://emote.org/kabak kabak@wallpaper-boy.com ------------------------------------------------- Fred looked at the small packet of powder. It was his. His alone. He could see himself injecting the crystal glory into his veins, he could already feel the faint pain of the needle which heralded so much happiness. He began to sweat. All he had to do was go home, and the world would belong to him. What is wrong with an illusion if you never learn the truth? Illusion would envelope Fred's mind, and for that short time, he would be free. Free as the pidgeon which settled on a power line above Fred. He walked under it, with a little spring now in his step. These moments were the most agonising. Going home to where he could shoot himself. The wait seemed forever, but when he got there it was always worth it. Today however, would be extra special. Today he had something new. What he had was the ultimate drug. Tetrahybrinidontylxoyostiactiea, a combination of acid, heroin, speed, and pure adrenalin, which would kill it's user after what was supposed to be the most incredible high imaginable, of course no-one knew for sure. Fred knew that his life was pointless, going from one high to the next, using his unemployment money, supplemented by minor theft, to pay for his rent and heroin. He was going to die sooner or later, so why not die on a high? The rhyme sparked Fred's sense of humour, and he chuckled as he turned into his street. As he opened the front door, Fred was hit by what most would call a last desperate plea from his conscience. "What are you doing? You're going to kill yourself. For what?" After the initial shock had hit him, Fred recovered and shrugged off his conscience. As he pulled a dirty spoon off the floor, one word flashed through his mind in huge red capital letters. FREEDOM He sat cross-legged and began to cook up. His eyed glinted as he watched the powder melt. "The ultimate drug," He though to himself, "I have the ultimate drug! I am going to die!" The thought excited him. He loaded the liquid into a fresh needle and tied off the circulation to his left arm. He was about to inject, when he had a better idea. One which excited him even more. He would inject the fluid directly into his heart. The thought gave him an erection. In an instant, the fluid would hit his bloodstream like a megaton warhead, accelerating his brain until his blood turned white from the energy which his body would instantaneously convert into more adrenalin to catalyse the effect of the Tetrahybrinidontylxoyostiactiea. He was almost drooling at the thought. Then he would die. The ending of a shitty life couldn't have been any sweeter. Fred tore off his shirt and looked down at his left breast. He imagined his heart beating beneath his ribs, slowly passing the blood throughout his body. And soon, something else. Something beginning with T. Without forewarning, he jammed the needle into his heart and pushed the plunger home, too fast to feel any pain. He was too charged up to notice anything except the fact that soon he was going to die. He collapsed in a heap on the ground. Within 15 seconds, his heartrate had sped up to 220. after another 30, it was 245. And he wasn't dead. His skin went pale. His blood had indeed turned a pink so bright it was almost white. Fred was oblivious to all this. He was in a dream world, and he was currently being tortured in the most unimaginable way. He felt pain throughout his body. It was like being trapped in a coffin. Time passed so slowly it was as if it had stopped. Every second seemed an hour. Unbeknown to Fred, the neurons in his brain had slowed to an almost dead stop from the effects of the Tetrahybrinidontylxoyostiactiea. He would have screamed if he could have, but his lungs were absorbing oxygen as fast as he could breathe. He was hyperventilating but could hardly keep his breath. Fred was experiencing a rare paradox. His body was racing, but his mind was almost dead. Blood channeled through his legs, his arms, through his temples, but almost none reached his brain. The lack of oxygen was in fact causing permanent brain damage to Fred. The second minute rolled around and his torture only became more intense. He was in room 101. Demons glared at him, he saw Satan. His body temperature dropped from a normal 37 degrees to 32. His heart pounded even harder to keep his body warm. His heart rate was now 265. The veins on his arms and head were bulging with the amount of blood his heart was channeling through his body to try to raise his body temperature. Suddenly, his spine cracked. One by one, each vertibrae in Fred's spine shattered, spreading bone shrapnel through his insides and out his back. As each one cracked, it doubled the pain Fred was already experiencing. If only he could have screamed. It was 2 minutes 12 seconds. At this point, Fred's sensory system shut down. He felt nothing. He felt liberated. The chemicals racing through his body suddenly by-produced and heralded the start of the joy. Each millisecond his high doubled itself, he couldn't believe that it could get any better. But it did. His body and brain had changed over with the change in chemical balances. His heartrate stood still for a whole second, for a whole second Fred's heart was in stasis, then a nerve pulse from his tired brain jolted it back into life, beating 45 times per minute. His brain was racing. He tried to think more slowly, to savour the pleasure he was experiencing, but his brain wouldn't let him. Fred was coming along for the ride whether he liked it or not. He didn't realise it, but his brain was slowly burning itself out from over energy, from the outside in. A thought flashed through Fred's mind slow enough to see. This was pure, pure ecstacy. This high was so pure you could pass it on by shaking hands. Nothing, absolutely nothing else mattered. Fred had what he wanted. Dying would only be the icing on the cake. But Fred would never know that exact moment when he was about to die. After 3 minutes, 17 seconds since he injected the Tetrahybrinidontylxoyostiactiea into his heart, Fred's mind vanished. His brain ceased to think, but still maintained essential bodily functions. In a final chemical reaction, his pituitary gland sent waves of emergency signals to his heart, which then, in a medical phenomenon, reversed itself. Arteries became veins, veins became arteries. Blood was circulating through Fred's body backwards. Then the left side of his heart convulsed and blocked itself. But the right side kept on pumping blood, and 22 milliseconds after the blocking of his heart cavity, two ribs cracked, soon followed by a third, then a fourth... Fred's heart was sucking blood from his aorta with nowhere to go, after 34 milliseconds it was the size of grapefruit, and at 68 milliseconds, his heart exploded, destroying Fred's stomach cavity and dealing the killing blow to his brain, which died instantly from lack of blood. It was the end. Fred had died. But in those last moments of consciousness, Fred was happier then you or I will ever be. Did he waste his life? In those 3 minutes and 24 seconds, Fred experienced the highest highs and lowest lows, higher and lower than any living person would ever experience. And now he is dead. Would you take Tetrahybrinidontylxoyostiactiea? I wouldn't. Because I believe that death isn't the end. You take some.