From: hobson@pipper.enet.dec.com (232) Date: 4 Jan 93 00:30:02 GMT Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: Seminars for Women ... SEMINARS FOR WOMEN: Once again, the male staff will be offering courses to women of all marital status. Please note, homework is mandatory. Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is not mandatory. 1. Combatting the Impulse to Nag 2. You Can Change the Oil Too 3. PMS - Learning to Sleep Over at Mother's 4. How to Fill a Beer Mug 5. We do not want Stationary for Christmas - PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERTHINGS 6. Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness 7. How to Do All Your Laundry in One Load and Have More Time to Watch Football 8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children so You Could Have Someone Other Than Him to Boss Around 9. How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband is Right 10. Get a Life - Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself 11. Balancing a Checkbook - Even You Can Get it Right 12. You, the Whining Sex 13. Reasons to Give _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S 14. How to Stay Awake During Sex 15. Why it is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During Breakfast 16. Shopping - Doing it in Less Than 16 Hours 17. #101 You Can Use a Bed for More Than Just Sleep #102 It's OK to Do It Outside of the Bedroom 18. If You Want to Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother 19. How to Close the Garage Door 20. If You Don't Want an Excuse, Don't Demand an Explanation 21. Payday and Shopping Are Not Synonymous 22. How to Go Fishing With Your Mate and Not Catch Pneumonia 23. Living Without Power Windows - How to Turn a Crank 24. Romanticism - The Whole Point of Caviar, Candles, and Conversation 25. How to Stay Alive While Your Husband is Relaxing 26. Putting On Something Sexy - Why it Won't Ruin Your Brain 27. How to Act Younger Than Your Mother 28. You Too Can Carry a Backpack 29. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not the Women Who Complain About You the Most 30. Apologizing for Farting When You're On the Toilet is NOT Necessary 31. The Attainable Goal - Catching a Ball Before It Stops Moving 32. Honest, My Eyes Are Closed Because of the Passion I Feel -- Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. If you mail to original@clarinet.com, it makes sure that your joke is tagged as your original work, and thus eligible for the RHF comedy awards. Always attribute the source of a joke, whether it's you, or somebody else.