The 0.000000000001th new Intel slogan for the Pentium: "We give you the most megaflops."

               On the tee-shirt of an inlined skater in Mountain View:
               <Intel Inside logo> "I asked for a refund on my Pentium, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

               The Pentium doesn't have bugs or produce errors; it's just Precision-Impaired.

               I heard that Intel lost one of its divisions today... 

               Top Ten Reasons Why Intel Delayed Announcing the Pentium: 
               
							 10. Quality control complained about the rattling noises the chip makes whenever it's reset.
							 9. Intel hoped to outfox AMD developers this time by waiting for them to release their "Pentium" first.
               8. Intel's still trying to figure out how to mount a three-foot high cooling tower on a two-inch square package. 
               7. Marketing's prediction that all of IBM's top executives would be killed by space aliens, followed by IBM engineering's
               insistence on a return to an Intel strategy, did not appear to pan out.
               6. The sales force needs to be retrained to sell a processor that doesn't end in"86".
               5. As a result of poor documentation practices, nobody can remember what the function of the WOOF* pin is.
               4. Military insisted at the last minute on 8080-compatability mode.
               3. Employees complained about being harassed by engineers who offered to demonstrate "Probe Mode."
               2. All those millions of dollars in processor research and development were cutting into the CEO's Christmas bonus. 
               and the #1 reason...
               1. Intel needed to hire more lawyers first