35 Ways to scare the shit out of someone sitting next to you on a Greyhound 
bus.

1.  Say nothing, and scratch your genitalia the entire trip.

2.  (Pretending to cry)  say:  I just got out of prison, and I lost my bitch.  
(Look at the person and smile evilly)

3.  Ask the person if (s)he would mind if you shaved your pubic hair.

4.  Open a magazine, cry out "YES", pick your nose, put the booger on the 
page, slam it and say "There, my page is kept."

5.  Sit there with a tablet and a pen and ask for suggestions for your new 
book, "101 uses for old chicken fat"

6.  When asked about your name, if a guy, respond "Mary...The doctors really 
did a good job, huh?", and if a girl, respond "George...The doctors really did 
a good job, huh?"

7.  Fart loudly, immediatley jump up and sit on the lap of the person in front 
of you, wrap your arms around him/her, and say "Hold me mommy, He scares me."

8.  Sit there with a copy of _The Crimes of Charles Manson_ with a highliter
and say repeatedly, "Ohh, this is good." and "I gotta remember this."

9.  Scratch yourself incessantly, and complain about fleas.

10.  Complain about not being able to go to sleep, smack your head on the seat 
in front of you 5 times, and knock yourself unconscious.

11.  Clip your fingernails, place them in a baggy, and offer some to the 
person.

12.  Pretend to fall asleep.  Pretend to have a wet dream.  Call out the name 
of the person sitting next to you.

13.  Place a can of shaving cream in your pants, reach down your pants to 
scratch yourself, and squirt shaving cream all over him/her.

14.  Take your shoes off, pick your toejam, and eat it.

15.  Offer him the opportunity to pick some of your butt lint.  

16.  Every time (s)he starts to fall asleep, get up to go to the bathroom, 
screaming "She's gonna blow!!!"

17.  When (s)he gets up to go to the bathroom, turn on the light above you.  
When (s)he comes back, tell him/her to leave the light on because "They" are 
coming.

18.  Start to write a letter, while spelling it out loud.  Say, "Dear 
Sweetheart:  Baah, Baaaah, Bah, Baaaah, Bah."  Then ask if he/she knows the 
sheep word for squeeze.

19.  When things get quiet, scream obsentites for no apparent reason.

20.  If the person is sleeping next to you, wake him/her up by screaming 
"DON'T TOUCH ME THERE YOU FUCKING PERVERT HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!"  

21.  Pull out a rubber glove, and tell him "I am a proctologist.  Can I have a 
peek?"

22.  Eat something vile.

23.  Pull out rubber dog shit and suck on it.

24.  Introduce yourself as "Dragonmaster Breijak"  Ask if he/she would mind a 
little sacrifice on the armrest.

25.  Burp loudly, pull out a salt shaker, sprinkle it on his/her leg, and talk 
about how hungry you are.

26.  Pull out a picture of a dog, shove your hands down your pants and pretend 
to masturbate.  Smile lovingly.

27.  Complain loudly that you have a disease called C.H.I.  When asked about 
the meaning, say "Crotch Hair Inferno" and scratch yourself violently.

28.  In a soft, feminine voice, ask if (s)he likes leather and whips.

29.  Say I love my pet rat, and for $5 you can too.  

30.  Introduce yourself as Cabin Boy, say "Nice shoes.  Wanna fuck?"

31.  If your stomach gurgles, pat your crotch and say, "Whoa there big fella, 
only __ more miles to go."

32.  Say "My asshole is an inlet AND an outlet.  How about yours?"

33.  Stash an extra pair of underwear in your pants, fart real loud, say "Oh, 
I think that was a doozie."  Reach into your pants and pull out the pair of 
underwear.

34.  Excite yourself orally.

35.  Stuff dollar bills down your underwear and say "Ain't no pickpocket gonna 
get these."

36.  Say Hello Sailor or do the actions, which ever you prefer.
37.  Tell him/her about your best friend Toll Booth Willy.