Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.  Worse: You're in it.

 Bad: Your children are sexually active.  Worse: With each other.

 Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.  Worse: He looks better than you.

 Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.  Worse: She's a lawyer.

 Bad: Your wife's leaving you.  Worse: For another woman.

 Bad: You can't find your vibrator.  Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.

 Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.  Worse: She implicates you.

 Good: Hot outdoor sex.  Bad: You're arrested.  Worse: By your husband.

 Good: The teacher likes your son.  Bad: Sexually.

 Good: You came home for a quickie.  Bad: Your wife walks in.

 Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner..

 Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.  Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

 Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.  Bad: She's eleven.

 Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.  Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.

 Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.  Bad: You live downtown.

 Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.  Bad: She's coming home.

 Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them.