Dumb Men Jokes


Why are all blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.

What is the difference between government bonds and men?
Government bonds mature.

What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What is the difference between ET and a man?
ET phoned home.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood he is already there.

What did God say after he created man?
I can do better than this!?

How do women define a 50/50 relationship?
We cook/ they eat; we clean/ they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

What does a man consider to be a 7 coursemeal?
A hot dog and a six-pack.

How are men like noodles?
They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

What's the difference between Big Foot and a mature man?
Big Foot's been sighted.