16 Things That Your Dog Doesn't Understand
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1.  That he's not your superior
2.  The word 'No!'
3.  Anything else you tell hime in plain English
4.  Why he shouldn't roll in the mud and then take a nap on your bed
5.  Why you all suddenly leave the room when he has a wind attack
6.  That you don't find it absolutely hilarious when, late one night, he
    suddenly starts staring at an empty corner of the room with teeth bared nd
    hackles raised
7.  Precisely what's wrong with practising his fiercest, gruffest bark at thee
    in the morning
8.  That it's not funny to carry your discarded underpants into the room with
    him in front of guests
9.  That the furnature is not there for his personal amusement
10. Why it's wrong to back Auntie Joan into a corner and guard her
11. Why your leg doesn't enjoy it as much as he does
12. That other dog's bottoms are not the most fascinating things in the world
13. Why your cat has as much right to sit in the lounge as he has
14. Why he should get into the bathtub if he doesn't want to
15. Why he shouldn't steal the pate off the table if he can reach it
16. Why he shouldn't do exactly what he wants, basically