-=- Heard in the Lunch Room -=-
                      -------------------------------

 There were five people in the west wing of St. Joseph's.  They were
 the permanent patients with little or no chance of ever being released
 for fear of what might come to the public.

 The patient that I am interested in this day is Maximilian.  He has
 had a terrible habit of rolling his shit up into little balls and
 rolling them down the corridor.  The nurses and sisters had tried in
 vain to  have this disgusting habit ceased, but they were trying in
 vain.  They offered him bribes of all sorts from women visitors to
 cigarettes, when one day they hit the nail on the head.  "It's
 christmas coming up," the sister said, "And I think that you might
 like a nice big bag of  Fantails."

 Max's eyes lit up like the christmas tree in the TV room at the mere
 though of chocolate.  It had been an O-so-long time since he'd had
 Fantails. "You have only to do one thing," the sister continued.  "You
 must stop this habit of rolling your little balls of shit down the
 hallway."

 "No problem," Max replied.

 For two whole weeks Max never rolled a single ball of shit down the
 hallway (or more correctly, never did he roll a ball of shit AND get
 caught!)  So Christmas day finally came and the lovely nurses and
 sisters all chipped in and got Max his nice big box of Fantails.

 He was sooo over-joyed at this present that he immediately opened the
 box and unwrapped a couple and threw them straight into his mouth.
 Wanting to show his appreciation he immediately offered the sisters
 and nurses some as well.  Maximilian then went to the TV room where he
 saw his friends and gave them a couple of Fantails too.

 Remembering there was a patient he's never seen at the other end of
 the hallway, he went down there and offered him a Fantail as well.

 "Get out of here, you bloody moron," came a voice when he entered the
 room.

 "I just want to give you a Fantail," Max said, so politely and
 innocently.

 "Well, if they're anything like those malteesers of your, I DON'T WANT
 ANY!"


... A mistake is something a virgin and a skydiver can only make once.