Berkeley, CA (ROOTERS) - Famed Genderologist, Dr. Tess T. Ickles, the Chairbeing of GRASP (Gender Realignment Association for Social Progress), announced a startling breakthrough in human DNA by recreating the gender modeling gene for maleness. According to Dr. Ickles, it is now possible to nullify the need for male sperm in the procreation process. This discovery eliminates the need for male intervention before, during, and after sexual intercourse.  

According to the research team, sexual intercourse will be obsolete within the next 100 years. During this transition period the male of the species will be phased out and replaced with a kinder, gentler, more communicative unigender being known as a PAT (Palatable Androgenous Teammate). Dr. Ickles and the GRASP research team go on to suggest that our intercourse-less society will be a healthier, more peaceful and sanitary environment, complete with open lines of communication and more compassionate unigender lifemates.

"This discovery will allow the human race to discontinue the need for male intervention into the process of the procreation of the human species." Surrounded by key members of GRASP, NOW and the ACLU, Dr. Ickles revealed the substitute gene that will replace the male in the chain of life. "We hope that this discovery will lead to a better quality of life for our planet by the year 2072." 2072 is The year in which GRASP predicts that the world will finally eliminate sexual harassment, wet toilet seats, smelly underwear, monster truck rallies and virtually all contact sporting events. These issues and much more remain in the forefront of GRASP's agenda.

Fellow (err, participating) GRASP research member, Dr. Ida Nosecs told reporters, "We are hopeful that we can begin the social cleansing process before the 1997 Superbowl."