From: jeremyl@screech.owlnet.rice.edu (Jeremy Lyn Hart) Our group's anthem used to go something like this: One hundred goblins with spears on the walls, One hundred goblins with spears, Knock one down, kick him around, Ninety nine goblins with spears on the walls! Ninety nine goblins with spears on the walls, ... ================================================================== From: jeremyl@screech.owlnet.rice.edu (Jeremy Lyn Hart) I remember seeing an adventure in DUNGEON Magazine, one where the players get to be monsters, and there was the greatest song: "If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend, If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend, If you're nasty and you know it, and you really want to show it, If you're nasty and you know it stab your friend..." ================================================================== From: jik20815@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (John Iv Kovacik) In a similar manner, when attacked by slaad, we started Forty-eight Blue and Grey Slaad at the door, Forty-eight Blue and Grey Slaad, Take one down, they gate in two more, Forty-nine Blue and Grey Slaad at the door... And, on a more pop-like note, our paladin sang: 'When I'm smacked by slaad I touch myself, I touch myself...' ================================================================== From: kinnema@wkuvx1.bitnet (Mark Kinney of the Too Many Nicknames) THE ALPHA COMPLEX SONGBOOK (from the Paranoia module _Send in the Clones_) SEND IN THE CLONES Isn't it great Isn't it keen Living in complexes ruled by machine. Where are the clones? There ought to be clones. Send in the clones... Isn't it rich Do we have six? Well then let's go Troubleshooters- C'mon, lets mix... Where are the clones? There ought to be clones. Send in the clones... Just when I start Opening doors, Looking for mutants and traitors on ceilings and floors. Shooting my laser again with no malfunction roll... Enemy bots... Taking a toll... Don't you love farce? Traitors abound. Won't you just go to the corner, And look around? Where are the clones? There ought to be clones. Send in the clones. I'm just so mad, It makes me red This is my very first mission- Already I'm dead. Where is my clone? I must have a clone. Send in my clone. WHAT THE HELL IS RAIN (to the tune of "Who'll Stop the Rain") Long as I remember The complex is underground. Miles of twisty tunnels; no exit to be found. Would-be nature lovers Tryin' to find the sun, But I wonder; still I wonder: What the hell is rain? I went up six levels Seekin' old man Yasgur's farm. But Guardbots wearing kevlar Grabbed me by the arms. "The Computer plans a new you." "You must have gone insane..." What a blunder, but I wondered: What the hell is rain? Now working in the foodvats, My mind's not on escape- While a Plasma Generator Guards against mistakes. Machines are barkin' orders: "The Computer is your friend!" But I wonder, still I wonder: What the hell is rain? I'M JUST WILD ABOUT MUTIE I'm just wild about mutie. And mutie's wild about me. Computerly blisses--boos and kisses. Commie's the way to be. Life's sweet just like processed algae. And just like Teela on TeeVee. Oh I'm just wild about muties. And they're just wild about- Cannot live without- They're just wild about ME! I'M AN ALPHA COMPLEX DANDY I'm an Alpha Complex Dandy. Alpha Complex do or die. A new clone version of my last five clones. Like them I know I'll soon die. I've got an Alpha Complex sweetheart. Teela is my Alpha Joy. Troubleshooters find the Commies. Beat the mutants senseless. I am an Alpha Complex boy! I'm an Alpha Complex dandy. Troubleshooter do or die. A clone replacement of my former self. Soon I will probably fry. I've got to serve my friend Computer. If I don't, I know I'll die. Kill the Commie infiltrators, Also Troubleshooters. I am an Alpha Complex guy! I'M AN ALPHA COMPLEX COMMIE (Subversive version of the above) I'm an Alpha Complex Commie. Alpha Complex do or die. A new clone version of my last five clones. Like them, I know I'll soon die. I'm not an Alpha Complex sweetheart. Girls are just the same as boys. Commie mutants beat computers. Troubleshooters, phooie! I'm not an Alpha Complex toy! IT'S ALL OVER NOW LEVEL BLUE (to the tune of "It's All Over Now Baby Blue") "You must leave now," the guardbot says. "An' I don't think you'll last... So keep your lasers handy, You better draw 'em fast." We understand your orders aren't much fun, Running from a glowing Plasma Gun. Look out now there's mutants coming through, And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE. RED LEVEL is for gamblers, Better use your Mutant sense. Take notes on all e-vents that are trea-son-ous. The empty-headed Funbot's about to speak, Emitting awful jokes you heard last week. The complex is falling in on you, And it's all over now LEVEL BLUE. Leave your secret society behind, The Computer calls for you. Forget the friends you had They have re-ported you... The warbot that's breaking down your door, Is programmed in a way you can't ignore... Hope your next clone will try and start anew, 'Cause it's all over now LEVEL BLUE. After working in the foodvats, You're back at home, And the smell from down there won't leave you alone... Your next clone has just walked in the door, He says, "report for termination number four." The floor is now moving under you, Oops, its all over now LEVEL BLUE... KELP! Kelp! to feed my body. Kelp! not just algae, buddy! Kelp! don't even need a bun. KELP! When I was stronger so much stronger than today. I used to eat french fries with ketchup everyday. But now those days are gone and I'm just not really sure. To be quite frank, ya know; did our lunch really once have fur? Kelp! it taste so good now don't you know? And it makes me want to crawl to bed and snore. Help me keep my lunch up off the floor. Won't you please, please ban kelp. ALPHA COMPLEX BATTLE HYMN (From 2nd Edition Paranioa GM's Screen) Mine eyes have seen the coming of another Commie horde, If I can hold them off alone Hot Fun is my reward, "Please engage the menace, Citizen" I hear on my comcord, When will the Vultures arrive? (Chorus) Glory, Glory, Hail Computer Glory, Glory, Hail Computer Glory, Glory, Hail Computer My clone keeps marching on. They're advancing on all sides now and I'll soon be overrun, I try to open fire but there's a malfunction with my gun, So I toss a nuke grenade and then turn tail and run, When will the Vultures arrive? (Chorus) The Commies are all vapor now and for that I'm real glad, My geiger-counter indicates I took a thousand rad, I check with the Computer and find out that's not too bad, When will the docbot arrive? (Chorus) ================================================================== From: blackman@acsu.buffalo.edu (Cathbad Ogmah Fili: atu agere, atu mori) If everyone around the world were to summon the Cthulhu, repeat twice all at the same time: There'd be no place to walk to. There'd be no where to hide. sing only once There would be no where to run to. And there ain't no place you could fly to. Repeat until everyone sings and the Great God appears. Then Run LIKE HELL!!! ================================================================== From: monson@girtab.usc.edu (Jayson Monson) When the axe of eternity falls upon the moon When the Lords of the hells sit upon bone thrones When time itself becomes unraveled That is when I shall ride. ================================================================== From: rsmith@ecs.umass.edu Here's my opinion about munchkins. Follow the bouncing ball to the tune "Fishheads". The Munchkin Song Munchkins, munchkins Wally jolly munchkins Munchkins, munchkins You're no fun. You can't take a munchkin to a city They will kill everyone there. Munchkins, munchkins Wally jolly munchkins Munchkins, munchkins You're no fun. You can't reason with a munchkin They're too busy collecting swords. Munchkins, munchkins Wally jolly munchkins Munchkins, munchkins You're no fun. You can't give a gift to a munchkin They already have five of those. Munchkins, munchkins Wally Jolly munchkins Munchkins, munchkins Your no fun. ================================================================== From: resst11@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Ryk E Spoor) Written by Carl Edlund I have a class of enchanters in my world called MusicMages. In order to play one, you have to be able to write up good verses for each spell. (None of this using popular songs crap. though for really GOOD songs I sometimes make an exception). I had one player who was SUPERLATIVE at this. Below is his song for the very powerful Arduin druidic spell, the Stone that Weeps in Silence (turn you to stone but leave you conscious!) "Gorgon's breath, medusa's wink, or crazy divine whim A blink, a waft, a peek and then Eternity within. Life should not be wasted And the living rocks do weep Silent in their knowledge that Your soul they do now keep. Noble marble, solid granite Fragile quartz and more, Become the tissue of your bones, Filling blood and pore. So STAND THERE AS A STATUE Until Armageddon ENDS; Not of flesh or bone, but STONE 'Til erosive time wears thin! In the lifetime of the Gods Eternity's but a flicker; And the magic I am forming Shall fade away no quicker." ================================================================== Songs of Praise Azathoth is in his chaos We know he's a really big boss Now if only he don't slay us Then that's good enough for me. Hari Krishna he must laugh on To see me dressed in saffron With my hair that's only half on and that's good enough for me If you're really into dancing And want to try some trancing Then the voodoo gods are prancing And that's good enough for me We will sacrifice to Yuggoth Light a candle for Yog-Sothoth If we're good we'll send a Shoggoth And that's good enough for me. It was good enough for Loki Where he goes, it sure get's smokey He thinks Thor's a little hokey And he's good enough for me And the gods tore into Loki Saying "Dei-cide is hokey" So Thor threw him in the pokey And that's good enough for me Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus's Though he's lost his vital juices Still the old boy has his uses And he's good enough for me. There's one thing I do know Zeus's favorite is Juno She's the best at, well, you know And she's good enough for me. When we worship Bacchus The ethanol will sock us We'll all get good and raucous And that's good enough for me. We will venerate old Bacchus Drinking Beer and eating Tacos 'till you've tried it please don't knock us 'cause it's good enough for me. Let's all drink to Dionysus His wine and women beyond prices He made a Maenad out of my Sis And that's good enough for me Let us dance with Dionysus And get drunk on wine and spices The Christains call them vices But they're good enough for me It was good enough for Cupid And the tricks to which he stooped 'thou his wings are kinda stupid But he's good enough for me No one wrote a verse for Buddha Though I think they really could'a And I really think they should'a 'cause he's good enough for me There are some who practive Shinto There's no telling what they're into Though I guess we could begin to But that's good enough for me Warriors for Allah Are sure to have a gala time in old Valhalla And that's good enough for me Any time that I start hearin' "Jesus loves you" I start leerin' May-be so, but not like Brirn [sp?] And he's good enough for me And though J.C.'s into fish too He's an avatar of Vishu So he's welcome here to And that's good enough for me And for those who follow Cthulhu We've really got a lulu Drop a bomb on Honululu Cause thats good enough for you We it's good enough for Hastur He's a mighty kinky master When you pray he goes much faster And that's good enough for me Good old Thor's the god of thunder Really helped us get our plunder Though his head's still truely dunder He's still good enough for me There are those who worship science And some would send 'em to the Lions But without 'em we'd have no appliance So they're good enough for me ( slight variations on previous posted lyrics ) In the names of Thor and Odin Don't you know there's a war on? Grab a axe and get your woad on And it's good enough for me It was good enough for Odin Though that croakin' was forebodin' Till at last the Giants rode in; Still it's good enough for me! In the church of Aphrodite The Priestess wears a see through nightie She's a mighty righteous sightie, And she's good enough for me Let us worship Aphrodite She is beautiful, but flighty She doesn't were a nightie But she's good enpough for me ================================================================== From: kroth@david.wheaton.edu (Ken Roth) To be sung to the tune of "jingle bells" Hack and slash Hack and slash Killing all the way Oh what fun It is to run Fighting come what may (repeat) See the Clerics turn See the Rangers fight See the Mage draw back his bow-- DUCK! HE'S ON YOUR RIGHT refrain Watch the oozes burn See the Stank alight Oh what fun it is to sing A slaying song tonight refrain