Agenradbo.1031 net.jokes utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!genradbo!noah Tue Mar 9 13:02:21 1982 auto jokes Have you ever seen a car accident and been given a really dumb reason why it happened? Well, here are a few suggestions what to say the next time you are involved in one: 1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 3. I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it. 4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 5. The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. 6. I had been driving my car for 40 years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 7. The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle. 8. I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way. 9. I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before. 10. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. 11. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. 12. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up obscuring my vision. 13. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment. 14. The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal. 15. The telephone pole was approaching fast; I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end. 16. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished. 17. When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. 18. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over. 19. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 20. No one was to blame for the accident, but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert. 21. I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries. 22. I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was a crash. 23. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident. 24. As I approached the intersection, A stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 25. My car was legally parked as I backed into the other vehicle. ----------------------------------------------------------------- gopher://quux.org/ conversion by John Goerzen of http://communication.ucsd.edu/A-News/ This Usenet Oldnews Archive article may be copied and distributed freely, provided: 1. There is no money collected for the text(s) of the articles. 2. The following notice remains appended to each copy: The Usenet Oldnews Archive: Compilation Copyright (C) 1981, 1996 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.