=------------------------------------= = THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE FALCON = = PRESENTS: = = = = HOW TO RIP OFF YOUR LOCAL BANK = =------------------------------------= = WRITTEN BY: CONAN THE BARBARIAN = =------------------------------------= 1] IF YOU HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT GO TO STEP 2. IF NOT, THEN OPEN ONE AT A LOCAL BANK, AND DEPOSIT AT LEAST $100. 2] FIRST LIE TO YOUR PARENTS SAYING SOMETHING LIKE "MOM, I'M GOING TO GO BUY MYSELF A NEW DISK DRIVE". MOM SAYS "WELL, HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?". YOU REPLY "OH I CAN GET ONE FOR ABOUT $100." MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS DEDUCT ABOUT 1/2 OF THE ORIGINAL PRICE WHEN TELLING THE COST TO YOUR PARENTS. 3] GO TO YOUR BANK AND WITHDRAW THE MONEY (THE REAL AMOUNT NEEDED). THE LITTLE LADY WILL MARK IN YOUR BANK BOOK UNDER "WITHDRAWALS" HOW MUCH YOU WITHDREW..SHE WILL DATE IT AND SIGN HER INITIALS.. GO SPEND THE MONEY ON WHATEVER YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BUY... 4] NOW TAKE YOUR BANK BOOK AND FIND WHERE THE BITCH RECORDED YOUR WITHDRAWAL...TAKE A PEN OF THE SAME COLOR AND CHANGE THE AMOUNT TO WHATEVER YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS HOW MUCH YOU PLANNED ON SPENDING. -> MAKE IT LOOK RATHER SLOPPY <- 5] NOW COMPLAIN TO YOUR PARENTS AND SHOW THEM THE RECORDED AMOUNT. MAKE SURE YOU BURN YOUR RECIEPT BEFORE DOING THIS. MOM SHOULD REMEMBER THE AMOUNT (LIE) YOU TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING TO SPEND. 6] GET YOUR PARENTS TO GO TO YOUR BANK WITH YOU AND RAISE HELL!! NOTE: SOME BANKS HAVE CODES FOR WHEN A TELLER MAKES AN ERROR SHE WILL MARK A CERTAIN CODE IN THE BOOK..IF THIS HAPPENS SIMPLY STATE THAT SHE MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE! 7] WHEN THE BANK ASKS TO SEE YOUR RECEIPT, TELL THEM YOU LOST IT. IF THEY PURSUE THE MATTER FURTHER AND ATTEMPT TO CONTACT THE PLACE THAT YOU BOUGHT YOUR DRIVE FROM, TELL THEM THAT YOU OBTAINED IT THROUGH THE MAIL FROM SOMEONE YOU MET ON A COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARD SYSTEM...TELL THEM YOU DO NOT KNOW THE PERSONS NUMBER OR ANYTHING ABOUT THEM..EXCEPT THAT YOU SENT THE MONEY TO: "GIVE THEM THE ADDRESS OF A FELLOW PIRATE FRIEND WHO WILL LIE FOR YOU.... 8] THE BANK > WILL < APOLIGIZE AND REFUND YOU YOUR MONEY! IF THEY DON'T TELL THEM YOU ARE OPENING A NEW ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK AND YOU ARE CONTACTING YOUR LAWYER. IF THEY STILL DO NOT REFUND YOU THEN YOU HAD BETTER FIND A FILE ON "HOW TO BLOW UP A BANK". 9] WARNING!! DO THIS ONCE IN A LIFE- TIME...IF IT BECOMES A PART OF YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE THEN PEOPLE WILL BECOME SUSPICOUS!... =-------------------------------------= CALL: THE BARBARIAN'S KEEP AE [619-561-9430] 'STYGIA' THE FRONT LINE AE [714-963-5752] 'COMBAT' =-------------------------------------=