BEATING THE "CLUB" So you lost the keys to that marvelous device they call "The CLUB", you know that multi-colored steel pole that look like two pieces of cactus, designed to keep people from stealing your vehicle. If you lose the keys to THE CLUB you are pretty much screwed because the police can not unlock it without removing your steering wheel (If they even can). If they can not remove it, it will be very costly for you to take it to a locksmith and have him remove it. Pretty neat huh, they build this to keep car thieves out of your vehicle, but if you lose the keys you are kept out of your vehicle. Now figure you also had to pay somewhere between $50.00 and $75.00 dollars for something that just locked you out. LETS DISCUSS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY ITEMS YOU WILL NEED 1. CAN OF LIQUID FREON (Available at most hardware stores) 2. THE ATTACHMENT FOR FILLING YOUR CARS AIR CONDITIONER WITH FREON (Also at hardware store) 3. BALLPEEN HAMMER (Found around house) 4. SAFETY GLASSES RECOMMENDED (Optional) 5. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, A BIG SET OF TESTICLES (Those you probably have or you would not have D/L this file) INSTRUCTIONS With all the necessary equipment in hand or bag (recommended), testicles in throat, here's the plan. Take the attachment and look at the end, you will see a pin inside (resembles valve stem on a tire). Pull or unscrew the pin out of the end (do this BEFORE you attach to the can). Now realize when you attach to the can the freon will shoot out at HIGH PRESSURE, SO BE PREPARED!!!!!! Hook attachment to can and point nossel directly into the lock on THE CLUB. When you see heavy ice build up in and around the lock, dispose of the can quickly so no freon will come in contact with anything else, especially your skin (Will cause severe and instant frost bite). Grab the hammer and strike the lock with the rounded side, hard and fast, the lock will shatter, causing the amazing indestructible CLUB to break (GOOD INVESTMENT). NOW, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO OR YOU WOULD NOT BE DOING IT! UPLOADED BY: LEISURE SUIT Additional note from Jeff Hunter: Freon is getting more and more difficult to come by because of new environmental laws. However, if you have a chemical supply house nearby you should be able to buy a thermos of liquid nitrogen. This is even cheaper than freon, will not destroy the ozone, the fumes won't kill you, and is far more effective than freon. X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699 The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674 Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560 "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X