Operation: Fuckup by the Jolly Roger

This is a guide for Anarchists and can be funny for non-believers and 12

and 13 year old runts, and can be a lexicon of deadly knowledge for True

Anarchists... Serious damage is intended to be dealt here. Do not try

this stuff unless you want to do a lot of serious Anarchy.


Asshole - 'Listen, you little teenager punk shit, shut the fuck up, or I'll

knock you down!'

Anarchist - 'O.K.....You can't say I didn't warn you. You don't know my

true power...' (soooo casually)

Asshole - 'Well, er, what do you mean?

Anarchist - '<demoniac grin>'

As you can see, the Anarchist knows something that this asshole doesn't...


[Operation Fuckup]

Geta wheel barrel or two. Fill with gasoline. Get 16 rolls of toilet

paper, unroll & drench in the gasoline. Rip to shreds in gasoline. Get

asbestos gloves. Light a flare (to be punk), grab glob of

saturated toilet paper (you can ignite the glob or not). Throw either

flaming or dripping glob into:

any window (picture is the best)

front doors

rough grain siding

and best of all, brick walls.

First of all, this bitch is near impossible to get off once dried, and

is a terror to people inside when lit! After this... during the

night, get a pickup truck, a few wheel-barrels, and a dozen friends with

shovels. The pickup can be used only for transporting people

and equipment, or doing that, and carting all the dirt. When it gets

around 12:00 (after the loser goes beddie - bye), dig a gargantuan hole

in his front yard until about 3:00. You can either assign three or four

of your friends to cart the dirt ten miles away in the pickup-bed, or

bury his front door in 15' of dirt! After that is done, get

three or four buckets of tar, and coat his windows. You can make an

added twist by igniting the tar when you are all done and ready to

run! That is if the loser has a house. If he lives inside an apartment

building, you must direct the attack more toward his car, and front door.

I usually start out when he goes to work...I find out what his cheap car

looks like, and memorize it for future abuse...It is always fun to paint

his front door (apt.) hot pink with purple polka-dots, and off-neon

colors in diagonal stripes. You can also pound a few hundred or so four

inch nails into his front door (this looks like somebody really

doesn't like you from the inside). Another great is to fill his keyhole

with liquid steel so that after the bastard closes his door - the

only way to get back in is to break it down. If you can spare it, leave

him an axe - that is, implanted three inches into, and through the door!

Now, this next one is difficult, but one of the best! Get a piece of wood

siding that will more than cover his front door completely. Nail two by

fours on the edges of the siding (all except the bottom) so you have

a barge - like contraption. Make a hole at the top that will be large

enough for a cement slide. Mix about six or seven LARGE bags of QUICK

drying cement. Use the cement slide to fill the antichamber created by

the 'barge' that is around his door. Use more two by fours to brace

your little cement-filled barge, and let the little gem dry. When it is,

remove the 'barge' so only a stone monolith remains that covers his door.

Use any remaining cement to make a base around this so he can't just push

it over. When I did this, he called the fire department, and they thought

he meant wood, so they brought axes. I watched with a few dozen or so

other tenants, and laughed my damn ass off! This is only his door! After

he parks his car for the night, the fun really begins...I start out

by opening up the car by jamming a very thin, but loack - inside and out!

Then proceed to put orange-juice syrup all over the seats, so after he

gets through all the other shit that you do, he will have the stickiest

seats in the world. You can then get a few Sunday papers, and crack one of

the windows about four inches. Lightly crumple the papers, and continue to

completely fill the inside of his car with the newspapers. A copy of the

Sunday New York Times will nicely fill a Volkeswagon! What is also quite

amusing is to put his car on cinder blocks, slash his tires at the top, and

fill them with cement! Leave the cinder blocks there so that, after he

knocks the car off of them, he will get about 3 miles to the gallon with

those tires, and do 0 to 60 in about two minutes! It is even more

hilarious when he doesn't know why the hell why! Another is to open his

hood, and then run a few wires from the sparkplugs to the METAL body.

The sure is one HOT car when it is running! Now, I like to pour two pounds

of sugar down his gas tank. If this doesn't blow every gasket in his

engine it will do something called 'carmelizing his engine'. This is when

the extreme heat turns the sugar to carmel, and you literally must

completely take the engine out and apart, and clean each and every

individual part!

Well, if this asshole does not get the message, you had better start to

get serious. If this guide was used properly & as it was intended (no,

not as kindling for the fire), this asshole will either move far away,

seek professional psychological help, commit suicide,

or all of the above!