Fun at K-Mart by the Jolly Roger

Well, first off, one must realise the importance of K-Marts in

society today. First off, K-Marts provide things cheaper to those who

can't afford to shop at higher quality stores. Although, all I ever

see in there is minorities and Senior Citizens, and the poor people in

our city. Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead in there. But, once,

I did.

You see, once, after The Moon Roach and Havoc Chaos (Dear friends of

mine) and I were exploring such fun things as rooftops, we came along

a K-Mart. Amused, and cold for that matter, we wandered in. The

Tension mounts.

As we walked up to the entrance, we were nearly attacked by Youth

Groups selling cheap cookies, and wheelchair sticken people selling

American Flags. After laughing at these people, we entered. This is

where the real fun begins...

First, we wandered around the store, and turned on all the blue

lights we could find. That really distracts and confuses the

attendents...Fun to do...

The first neat thing, is to go to the section of the store where

they sell computers. Darkness engulf the earth the day they find Apple

Computers being sold there. Instead, lesser computers like the

laughable C-64 can be found there...Turn it on, and make sure

nobody's looking...Then, once in Basic, type...


]10 PRINT "Fuck the world! Anarchy Rules!" (or something to that effect.)

]20 GOTO 10 and walk away.


Also, set the sample radios in the store to a santanic rock station,

and turn the radio off. Then, set the alarm for two minutes ahead of

the time displayed there. Turn the volume up all the way, and walk

away. After about two minutes, you will see the clerk feebly attempt

to turn the radio down or off. It's really neat to set ten or more

radios to different stations, and walk away.

One of my favorite things to do, is to get onto the intercom system

of the store. Easier typed then done. First, check out the garden

department. You say there's no attendent there? Good. Sneak

carefully over to the phone behind the cheap counter there, and pick

it up. Dial the number corrisponding to the item that says 'PAGE'...

And talk. You will note that your voice will echo all over the bowels

of K-Mart.

I would suggest announcing something on the lines of: "Anarchy