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I believe that I have located the most politically correct person in America, possibly the world. I was going to call him the most politically correct man, but after hearing his resume, I'm sure you'll agree that the word "man" might not be appropriate.
I found out about him from one of my correspondents in the Washington, DC, area, who sent me a copy of a left-wing newspaper called the Washington Peace Letter, containing an article entitled "Why March?" by an individual named Elias Farajaje-Jones. The article is a long exposition of the reasons the writer had for marching in the so-called "gay rights" march in Washington.
Let me give you a sample of his writing from this article:
"As a queer-identified Bi spanish-speaking african native american (tsalagi/cherokee) womanist/mujerista man, i must march ...because it is part of my heritage of 500 years of resistance to columbus' legacy of racism and oppression. I cannot rest because if one Rodney King can be beaten senseless and those who did it go free, i know that the same thing can happen to millions of queers at any moment. I cannot rest as long as there is heterocentrism.... I cannot rest as long as queer lovers and friends, partners, companions, are not recognized as family, in a meaning that we have given or better yet restored to the word....
"I cannot rest as long as people with AIDS are forced to continually live under a system of ApartAIDS....
"I cannot rest as long as there is no universal health care in this country....
"I cannot rest until lesbians and bisexual women (who are not only struggling against oppression in the dominant culture, but also within a white male-dominated queerworld) are recognized for their leadership and allowed to lead us...."
Sounds a little bit like a speechwriter for Bill Clinton, doesn't he? But the best part is the little biographical sketch at the end of his article:
"Elias Farajaje-Jones, a spanish-speaking African Native American... ...is an anarchist guerrilla theologian / AIDS activist / writer / performance artist, living in the colonial territory known as the District of Columbia. He is a tenured professor [!] at the Howard University School of Divinity where, besides history of religions, he teaches multiculturalism, AIDS issues, sociology of heteropatriarchy and gender studies. A member of the Washington Peace Center community, he is founder of moving violations, a group for bi men of colour, and bi people of colour against aparthAIDS. A contributor to several bi anthologies, he is currently editing an anthology bi any means necessary, of works of bi men of colour. He is also an AIDSwidow."
Now, my friends, that is the kind of thing that's impossible to make up -- the kind of thing that can only be produced by a sick, sick society. What a set of qualifications this creature has! It's no wonder that the Howard University School of Divinity snapped him up. Surely any corporation or government agency with a sharp "affirmative action" office ought to be making him offers left and right, considering how many officially-protected minority groups he simultaneously belongs to.
If any of you listeners out there can come up with someone that you can convince me is more politically correct than Elias Farajaje-Jones, I'll send you a free copy of any audio tape in our catalog, your choice.
American Dissident Voices listener L.G. of Canada sends the following letter and pictures, including an entry into our "Most Politically Correct Person" search, and so far, he is the winner.
Mr. L.G. of Ottawa, Ontario is one of our most prolific and interesting letter writers. He writes:
"Things must be getting pretty hairy down there in the United States, what with Slick Willy wanting to import all of those Haitian refugees. ...Of course, Canada will almost certainly be suckered into taking lots and lots of them. I'm pretty angry about the media hoopla about those Hutu refugees in Zaire -- of course, they wouldn't even have a cholera epidemic if they hadn't used their drinking water for a sewer....
"We're sending you some photos of a "gay pride" parade that [recently] took place in Ottawa.... We've... put some comments on the backs... of the photos, just to put them in better context (also, my wife and I felt the urge to exercise our wit.)"
Thank you, L.G. Some of these photographs of the pro-pervert parade are absolutely amazing and disgusting. What we see on our TV news programs about these homosexual events is a very sanitized version, purposefully crafted to make the best impression on the viewer. What L.G. has sent includes the bits the editors cut out. I'll try to describe them to you.
One of the things the editors leave out are the huge banners, replete with hammers and sickles, proclaiming, in this case, "Communist Party of Canada" as we see in this picture. Next we see a man wearing a woman's dress, carrying a sign reading "Socialist Worker -- Gay and Straight -- Fight the Bigots -- International Socialists." Next we see a large pickup truck in the parade, carrying several rather attractive young women, with a sign reading "Dykes Demand Action." Mr L.G. writes on the back "It's a crying shame -- so many decent looking White women fall into the trap of lesbianism." One of these lesbians is wearing a T-shirt, reading "We recruit." Think about that one for a while. In the next picture we see two men wearing women's clothing, hairdos and makeup carrying a large banner promoting "the Gender Mosaic" whatever that is. Next we have a picture which L.G. captions "How politically correct! A fashion-challenged, cross-dressing, alternative sexuality African-Canadian.... Do I win the free tape, Kevin?" In the next picture we see one of the posters put up by these advocates of freedom. It shows two young men, one a sleazy-looking White and the other an Oriental, engaging in tongue-kissing. The caption reads: "Enjoying your orientation? QUEERS ARE HERE!"
The sickest and, to me, the most shocking photograph is of an attractive young woman, blonde and perhaps 18 or 20 years of age. This girl, who is entering the years when she should be becoming a wife and a mother and taking her place in the continuation of the race, has obviously become a lesbian. She is wearing several slogans on her clothing. One says, "I like women." Another reads, "we recruit." The saddest reads, and I'll have to bleep it somewhat, "I f - - - to come, not to conceive."
A people whose young women are taught to accept such attitudes towards their creator-given ability to conceive and bear the next generation is a people who have rejected their very existence. Such women are not feminists: they have rejected the entire natural feminine nature, they have rejected life itself.
Thanks for your letter, Mr. L.G., I always enjoy them and I also like your closing comment: "Our victory is inevitable."
If anyone can top L.G.'s "most politically correct" entry, you have until April 1st, 1995, to get your entry in.
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