File 1/1 BY: Xoo Fun.txt The Intro SHiT: Are you bored as hell? Do you like causing trouble and hell all around you? If you don't, fuckin' burn this shit along with your computer. Unlike other lamers, i don't hafta copy my files right outta the Jolly Roger CB. Anyways, this file IS meant to be used and I don't take any responsiblity if you do something and get caught. Also......If you do get caught, don't lie about it. Just try getting the lowest possible LIFE term. By the way, this is the first file in Xoo's Cookbook, just in case you got it by itself. Get Xoo's Cookbook (and get ready to FUQ IT ALL!) DISCLAMER: Don't FUQin' take credit for this shit by changing the author to you. Cause when you change shit that someone did, you will die..... Greets: Myself: Xoo Pirates With Attitudes: Only wares group that i sorta respect. MOD: For hacking Ma' Bell in the late 80's and for proving that rejects from another hacking group can become world famous. Phiber Optik of MOD: This file is dedicated to you, dude Demolisher: a poser but gets me fakes on AOL Stygian: This guy knows whats going on at AOL, READ HIS NEWSLETTER alt.2600: newsgroup for introducing me into the world of hacking. Tommy Hilfiger: cool clothes, racist bastard Kurt Cobain, wherever you may be...you still kick ass all cool hacking boards, hacker's haven: (303)FUQ-A-WHO AND A SPECIAL THANK YOU: To My friends, protege's, enemies (for which i could not have thought of some of these), and everyone who reads this. (DON'T FUQ WITH MY EMOTIONAL SIDE) Death to: Steve Case: for canceling my account 14 fuqin' times.(and counting...) Bill Gates: for stereotyping Pc users as dandruff laden nerds such as himself. BassBoy666: whoever you are, I will find you..... The Wesley: You Piece of SHIT, Go FUQ YOURSELF Erik Bloodaxe: you racist piece of shit,go fuq yourself and your anti-MOD shit AOL: I HOPE YOU DIE IN YOUR OWN PILE OF SHIT (See file #2) The Internet: For one day, I will control, if not destroy. Ma' Bell: (See File #3) Counterfeit Jeans, cause all the poor asses can't afford real ones. Greenday: 'cause they suck shit, ??? All users of AOL, of course The System The Resistance, you know who you are... And now our feature presentation............ .oO0*****************************Xoo***********************************0Oo. 1.Send your meanest single teacher an anonymous love letter. When she sends you a picture of herself, send it to the principal using her address. I think she'll be outta her job. 2. find a local Taco Bell. Call 1-800-Taco-bell to complain about their nachos Remember to always use a pay fone. When they ask for your name, phone # address, tell them someone else's, or make one up. When you complain about their nachos say that they were impolite and didn't replace the nachos with nasty green fuzz and they laughed at you. If you did it right the entire taco bell staff will be fired. Do this only if you have a personal vendetta against Taco Bell emps. 3. If you have a scl with IBM compat. computers, read this..... Most likely the PC uses a dos version less than 5, so the "shift trick" won't work. You hafta get the version # of the dos and make a boot disk. But wait....i dont got that version of dos......Tell your teacher that you have the same version DOS at home as in school. After about a week ask your teacher to make you a boot disk since your computer needs one. The next day use the disk on the school PC. Things to do inside the school PC: edit the autoexec.bat file debug the command.com file look for your grades and change them. if your PC has DOOM get a few friends to use the disk and play DEATHmatch over the network. (I did this to my local library PC, FUN AS HELL!) 4. Look up all the mail order stuff you can buy in magazines. (such as Sports Illustrated) Order shitloads of stuff for anyone you hate or your teachers....or even your boss. Remember: C.O.D. 5. Having trouble getting into a warez board?...Call the Software Piracy Association, and report them. Hell, if you cant join them FUQ THEM. 6. Go to NYC or LA and find a couple o' hookers. Have sex with them, in some remote location such as an alley or the hooker's room. Tell them you are going to get some champagne, and take off!!!!! They can't do anything.....they're HOOKERs....they are doing something more illegal than you, and will probably stop prostituting and become a lawyer. 7. Find someone in you 'hood who LOVES their grass. I mean someone with, awesome grass. What???? You don't hate them? Of course you do. While they're asleep cover their grass with gasoline(preferibly ether, if you can find it)and set their lawn on fire. At about 6 in the morning you will here loud moans and groans. And screams and shouts. As you peer outside your window you see your neighbor's lawn a-blazin' and you look confused and innocent. Who in their right minds would do such a thing? :-> 8. While outside(perferably during a solar eclipse)reflect the sunlight off a mirror and into the eyes of an unsuspecting victim. This sometimes paralyzes them (temporarily, for I am non-violent). 9. Log on to BBS's and Upload virii and say that it is Pkzip 3.0 beta. Don't use your real name, or you will be caught and prosecuted. Where do I get virii?....Use an instant Virus Creation program. Or take the time out to make one. Or make one in BASIC. Or just get one from a Cool Board, such as the Virus Exchange in Bulgaria. 10. Go to pay fone. Dial 00 for operator. Mock them and yell 'You can't trace me.' Chances are the operator will intercept the fone. And if you pick up the reciever the operator will still be there. You Can harrass (bare-ass?????) them all you like and then get the fuq out. 11. Buy $25 fake Rolex's, Tag Heuer, or Guess watches and sell them for $500 as real ones. Get the hell outta that city....for good! 12. Call 1-800 #'s from pay phones and hanging up. Do this to the same 800 # about a hundred times. They will get so pissed, that they will not answer any calls for at least an hour. They will lose business and money since you are calling from Hawaii and the 800# is in New York. Unless they are using that Sprint $.10 a minute rate. -Endorsement- Sprint: 1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 4 minutes,......3,445 minutes, 3,446 minutes, all for $.10 each minute. Wow this works anywhere in they country even Alaska AND HAWAII. But too bad AT&T owns the system. One day we will own the system and we'll sucka you into it...er....um...oops.......... SPRINT MAKES SENSE -End of Endorsement- Sorry 'bout dat, but I don't wanna make this file totally illegal. 13. Order yourself a bunch of shit from a payfone. When you recieve it use it and enjoy it. If it is food eat it or hide it. When you recieve the bill stare at it completely mesmorized and confused. Write to them saying you didn't order this and that you thought you were getting gifts for being such a good U.s. citizen. *This cancels out #4* Remember C.O.D. 14. Classic: Buy a game in 3.5 disk format. Copy it, return it. Free game. Enjoy.*If you have a CD-R, you can copy Cd's...even audio CD's. 15a. How to avoid the shoplifting detector: CLOTHING If there is a big white thing still stuck to it, it will go off. If there is that little rectangle thing with a WARNING on it, it'll go off. If there is any type of metal on it, it'll go off. *If there if a bar code thingie on it, RIP IT OFF and wear it out 15b. Avoiding Shoplifting Everything else: Some register your bar code so that you can leave quietly. When someone has scaned a Nestle Crunch bar you pocket it and leave. (RUN LIKE HELL) As Soon as the guy who paid for the bar leaves....the alarm goes off leaving him under temporary arrest. After he is released, he in turn, might sue leaving the store bankrupt and broke. And you got a free Crunch bar out of the confusion. Ain't it cool? 16. Get a monkey. No, a REAL monkey. Find the smallest and lightest one possible. Train it to steal jewelry and money off of people and homes. Use the monkey to steal from homes and not get caught. Motion detectors sometimes require a certain height to properly scan. The monkey is so small and quick, it won't scan him. Also the weight detectors won't work because it needs at least 30 lbs. of force on the floor. The monkey probably weighs 5 lbs. and the cash and/or jewelry weighs a pound or so. Also steal credit cards and use them to get on an online service to screw with the internet. (Read #2) 17.(a) Need more time to read a book from the library? Check out a book. Read it. Return it. Now, after about 15 minutes your book will be on a cart or some- thing of the sort. Grab the book. Wait 5 minutes and walk out. (b) Find a book you want to keep. Leave it in a secret location in the library. Such as between/underneith some books or mags. Check out other books. Return to the location and place your book between your othe books and walk out. *return the other books, keep the one you stole* 18. Look in a lost and found box, take all the money(sometimes in wallets), electronic equipment (once I found a spell checker), or anything else you see of interest. Do this if the box is unguarded. There are usually l+f boxes in libraries and they are usually unguarded. 19.Classic: Ever wanted an item that costs $400 for only $4? Take the label off the item with $4 marked on it and place on $400 item. *check if the store uses "bar coding" to register the item first. if it does, DO NOT use this. 20. Buy anything you want from garage sales for a cheap price. Resell them at your own garage sale at a much higher price. (Yeah, i know this isn't ille+gal, but what the hell, it's still pretty cool) 21. Step on cockroaches, ants, or any black insect. Crush them and collect. Invite a "guest over for tea". Get the tea bags or tea and pour in the cockroaches/ants mixture in their tea only. Drink your tea and watch them tell them how much your tea sucks. They might throw up or even get sick. For an added touch use ground up mosquitos or fleas. 22. Go to a place with cheap toilets( you know the knd with plungers and shit next to it, and only one toilet is there). Get a few snickers and (long kind, although about 15-20 fun size will do) and cut them (by hand) into 2 or three pieces. Try getting melted oneds for the best possible effect. No smear some of the snickers onto the seat and all over the sink. After you smear the "shit" with a good consistency, dump the rest into the toilet. DO NOT FLUSH. When the some poor guy comes to take a shit, he will throw up and vomit shit all over the bathroom. By the time a janitor comes (if they have a janitor, some places are so cheap, the owner cleans them by hand.) the restroom will need defumagation and the owners will be sued for poor restroom conditions by the FDA and will be bankrupt and broke. Why do this? 'Cause it's fun (not phun like some lame-alikes). *I know this might seem like something outta the JR cookbook, but it is totally different and is better than the Jolly Roger's shit. 23. Go to a restroom. Find a guy(or gal) who's taking a dump. Go into the next-door toilet. Throw rolls of toilet paper, or half-melted snickers bars into their side of the restroom. Run outta the toilet and turn on all the water faucets. Turn off all the lights, and turn on all the hand-dryers. RUN OUTTA THERE, The guy will be so confused and chocolatey that he will cry. Ooooh, you hurt his feeling's. But nobody knows it was you. The guy will come out of the restroom half-naked, and will be sent to jail, or maybe even to a mental hospital (if he is THAT traumatically injured). WHY DO THIS? 'Cause dudes takin' a SHiT in a public restroom, SUCK 24. *For Kids that goto school* Get a few mice. (Half-live ones, or full lived ones) Step on them until they move slightly back and forth, but ARE NOT DEAD. Take a shit in a paper bag. Throw the mice in there. Take the bag to school. Dump the contents into someone's locker, someone's bookbag, or if you got de balls, the teachers desk. They will open up and see the mice half alive and its shit all over, the will faint. The paramedics will come and take the child away. The school will then think it has mice and will close. The child will sue the school, and the school will close down for good. Enter the school after about a month from its close down (Smash a few windows, and enter) and look around. Look for text books, answers or shit, and mostly teacher's editions. Also look around the office for confidential shit. Sell the things to younger kids, or use them yourself. Or smash up everything in the school. But what about the new school? Do it to the new school again. Afterwards, do it everywhere imaginable. If you do it right, the entire city (or suburb) will close and will be in Quarantine. Businesses will cease, crime and havoc will rage. You just FuQed up an entire CITY!!!. Even I wouldn't have the balls to go through with something like this. If you want to do this or thinking about it, Leave a message on my board (908)Xoo-2-You NuP:no warez 25. Don't ya hate it when littl' kids play those video games forever and never let you play, when you're at a place like Toy's R US? While the brat is playing, pull a bunch of electic cords out from the back of the machine, or switch the surge suppresor off. Better yet, snatch the controller from the kid then rip the controllers out of the socket and hand them to the kid. Still better, take an aluminum baseball bat from the sporting goods section, and smash the monitors or smash the plexiglass that's holding the system. Steal the system or pocket the game cartridge while you're at it. When you attempt this, be sure there is no one behind, or around you, just you and your victim. 26. Go to a golf course and get as many golf balls as you can, then leave. You can find 20-30 golf balls, they are mostly on the outside of the golf course, so pocket them and walk away. Roll the golf balls down your street, or throw them onto cars or onto any passer-bys. Or sell them to golfers at a special discount rate. (This one kinda sucks its own shit, but if you're bored this is something to do.) 27a. Look in apartment building trash resepticals. You can kind all sorts 'o' neat junk there. You can find computers, tv's, or x-rays, or vcrs. Hock them, or use them. Take apart the computer, and use its parts on yours. Or smash them like i do. 27b. *How TO SMASH A PC* Smash the glass part of monitor, then smash back of monitor, dump smashed shit out and keep smashing. Spray some hair spray on it and light it, while burning....smash it some more. For the CPU, you gotta smash the front of it. open all the screws and smash all the little chips and shit inside it. smash the covering too. My favorite smashing items are the keyboard and mouse. Smash the keyboard and watch the keys fly all ova' the place. Smash a mouse and the mouse ball will fly alongside of little pieces of silicon chips. Do this whenever you feel like, i did it in broad daylight with some apt. residents watching. 28. Get a boa constrictor and someone you hate. Stuff the snake in a postal box with dead rats, and mail it to the person. Watch Out, because the post office can get your ass on this one. (NOTE: BE SURE THAT YOU REALLY HATE THIS PERSON BEFORE YOU DO THIS!) -A Poem For Your Pleasure- By: Xoo By some booze, buy a gun, if the cops come, you'd betta run. (I added this, just to add some more cool shit you can tell people. (MENTION Xoo's COOKBOOK, OR THIS FILE WHEN YOU TELL SOMEONE) -End of Poem- 29. Go to a place where there are lots of kids. Buy some porno and stuff them into their backpacks. Their parents will whip their ass when they try and explain that its not theirs. Better yet do this to some kid whos parents beat their kids. When he gets his ass whipped, tell the police, and his parents will go to jail. Adopt the kid, and teach him everything in this file (and cookbook), and watch him become the next Hitler. (not to offend and people of the Jewish race) 30. Get one of those electrical pluggie things that plugs into an electrical outlet and give you a dial tone. You can get these from Radio Shack or other various sources. They will cost between $30-$200. Try to get the cheapest one you can. Goto a park, zoo, someone's house or wherever there is an elect. outlet. Be sure to have a phone with you and some long telephone wire. Plug the jack in, and plug the telephone into the jack with the wire. If you get a dial tone, read on, if not try the next elect. outlet. Once you have a dial tone established, you can find out your number by pressing 958 (or your local ANI, or even your operator). Next call '900 numbers, make conference calls, or if you got a laptop, connect it, and call good Hacking Boards in Russia and Germany. Or even prank call them, and mock them, or even threaten death at them. Remember, it isn't you line you're FUQING up... 31.If you gotta date to the prom, then fuq this, but if not and want revenge.. Get about 1000 marbles. Take them to your prom (if you're a senior in school). Wait for 10:00 to arrive. Get a bunch of friends (rejects, who don't got a date, like you) and tell one of them to monitor the dance(A), one of them to watch your back(B), and one of them to ready the marbles(C). Be sure to get them all walkie-talkies like some kinda spy shit. Next plan your move carefully. If it is a specific person, whom you wish to attack tell A to monitor him (or her). Next, when A sees the creep, with your girl, tell C to prepare the marbles. NEXT GET B to plant some lingirie in your marks pocket, if its a male, if its a female, put a used condom in her pocket. Finally, get C to throw the marbles. Your mark, and your girl, slip and fall. You walk over to the girl and ask her if she is alright. The guy will be lying with lingirie lying out his pocket. She will be so damn mad at him, she will dance with you instead. Dismiss your friends, or help them out or make some shit up. 32. Don't ya hate it when you are in a rush, and you get a red light? Then fuq the red lights, and also fuq up your neighborhood. When a cop or ambulance approaches a red light, the light turns green, did you ever notice that? To get the same benefits as them, flash you headlights really fast at the lights, as you approach them. Or get a strobe light (HIGH POWER) and mount it to your cars dashboard. Use this if you are in a rush, or just feel like fuqing over the streets. Remember, don't let the Feds see you, they'll give you a ticket for "public disturbance". Public disturbance my ass. 33. Want to REALLY save on your collect calls? Tell the person you are going to collect call beforehand then do this. Call up the person collect, use the local collect call carrier, don't use (800)Collect, or the like. When the operator asks for your name, just say your message, and the tell the other not to accept charges. You get charged shit for the call, and so does your friend. Just another way to Fuq with the Phones. 34. Make a Disk Bomb (this is sorta from The Jolly Roger's, but it is the only thing from it, that was cool enough to get a spot in Xoo's Cookbook) Carefully open up the 3.5 disk. Remove the cotton covering from the inside. Scrape a lot of match powder (cut off the white matchheads from matches) into a bowl (use something wooden to scrape). Pour in the nail polish remover into the matchhead mixture. (Not too much, or it'll get FUQ-ED UP) Pour the stuff into the disk, be sure to spread evenly. Carefully put the diskette back together,the nail polish will seal it shut on the inside (where it came apart) Let it dry for at least 12 hours. When that disk is in a drive, the drive head attempts to read the disk, which causes a small fire (or an inferno, depending on how many matchheads you use) which FUQ's up the Disk Drive and the computer. This does work, and have tried it in my old 286, that's basically why I have included this with this file. Try and see for yourself, but don't fuq up your own computer, cause then you can't read my cookbook (unless you printed it out, of course) 35. Make a Time-Disk Bomb, (This one Kicks ASS) Do ya know a place with a bunch of computers with accessable Disk drives? Let's blow it up. Make about 20-30 disk bombs (#34) depending on how many Pc's you wanna send to hell. Get a group of friends. Be sure you can access Qbasic or some shit like it, if not, INSTALL it on all computers.) Place all disk bombs in all the computers you want. All these computers have their 3.5 floppy as drive A, you this littl' Basic shit will work. (copy this little program to each computer) 10 CLS 20 Print "Please Wait, Loading Executable..." 30 FOR X=1 to 1000000 40 Next X 50 SHELL "A:command" 60 END this may be a bitch to copy to each computer, but is FUN-AS-HELL when you do it.Be sure to Run the program at the same time. on a 486dx2/66 it will give you about a minute to leave, be sure to walk calmly and casually out, don't laugh, or run, or do some shit to get busted. It ain't cool to go to jail, but of course, the feds never got no fuqing evidence anyways, so who gives a fuq.(If the computer you are running is a pentium or some faster shit, replace 1000000 with 2000000.) 36. Lets make fun of the Pres... Get the Juno software, make up a bunch of bullshit when it asks for info. Never give anything as your real shit. Just to be safe, do this from anywhere, but your home. Make up a screen name that sounds authoratative such as "SAC-Base7e" or some shit. Email the pres at....president@whitehouse.gov actually he WILL read it, despite popular belief that he won't. E-mail send to that address gets treated like offical documents handled by the president, so it is printed and left on his desk (what do ya think the pres does all day, reads his email, of course) Write some shit about him, send it using two or three anonymous remailers (cyberpunk), read some FAQ on remailers, maybe i'll include it in a latter file. Be careful cause two bitches did this to the president, and they got caught. Of course they didn't take the precautions and were sloppy. -An Important Message from The Alliance- Thanks for reading this shit, we hope you enjoyed it, fuck all homosexuals, they will be the first to go, they suck their own shit, if you are a homo, then goto your local petshop, and rape the little ape that is sitting there. -This has been a message from The Alliance- 37. Buy a volkswagen, or some other cheap-ass car for $300(or less). Look in some used car mag or some shit. Get some tanks of hydrogen. Get some gasoline and dump it all over the car. Get some hairspray and spray whatever the fuq you want on the car. Get some matches (20 packs will do) and dump them all in the gas tank. Just make it look all shitty, but HIGHLY flammable. If you got ether or kerosene, feel free to dump it all over the car. Before you do this be sure to place the car where you want it to blow up. Preferably a parking lot, or an office building or the empire state building. Be sure to place it near other cars. If no one is there, dump some flammable stuff in the cars near you, and if you got the time, make ALL the fuqing cars in the parking lot flammable. Get a fuse, a long wire covered in gasoline will do, and attach one end you your car, and light the other end. Run like fuqing hell 'cause that place will fuqing burn, and there will be fire everywhere. Get the fuq outta that area, cause the feds will look for you. Also do everything with gloves, and try to get someone else to drive the car to its destination, better yet, get it towed there. This is just fun to watch, and kicks ass, just like everything else. In the words of Beavis, "Huh, huh, heh, fire, FIRE, FIRE!!!".