7-21-85 **************************************** DOCTOR REALITY'S MAGIC BROWNIE TECHNIQUE Presented By Elric of Imrryr Lunatic Labs UnLtd HEAD Dept **************************************** BEFORE WE GET INTO THE ACTUAL MAKING OF POT BROWNIES, I FIRST WANT TO POINT OUT SOME OF THE ADVANTAGES OF COOKING WITH GRASS. FOR THOSE "CHILDREN OF THE EIGHTIES" WHO HAVE NEVER TRIED MAGIC BROWNIES, YOU'RE IN FOR A REAL TREAT. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE TRIED TO MAKE MAGIC BROWNIES BUT DIDN'T GET OFF ON THE RESULTS, READ ON, BECAUSE YOU'LL LIKE THE WAY I MAKE BROWNIES. POT BROWNIES HAVE MANY ADVANTAGES OVER SMOKING. FIRST, THEY ARE INCONSPICUOUS, AND THEREFORE MUCH SAFER THAN JOINTS OR PIPES. SECOND, YOU CAN USE SHIT WEED AND STILL GET GOOD RESULTS. IN FACT, SHIT WEED IS JUST ABOUT ALL YOU SHOULD USE, BECAUSE MOST OF THE DOPE THAT YOU EAT PASSES THRU UNDIGESTED. IF YOU ARE REALLY INTO MAKING BROWNIES WITH PRIMO DOPE, THEN SAVE YOURSELF SOME WORK: TAKE MOST OF THE GRASS AND FLUSH IT DOWN THE SHITTER, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE MOST OF IT WILL BE GOING ANYWAY. AND FINALLY, THE LAST MAJOR ADVANTAGE OF BROWNIES IS THAT YOU CAN EAT THEM ALMOST ANYWHERE, LIKE ON A BUS, IN CLASS, AT THE BEACH, ETC. YOU CAN ALSO FEED THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER KNOW THAT THEY'RE EATING DOPE (UNTIL LATER...), BUT IN REAL ITY YOU SHOULD NEVER WASTE DOPE BY GETTING SOMEONE STONED BY SURPRIZE. IT TENDS TO PISS SOME PEOPLE OFF, AND THESE VERY SAME PEOPLE SEEM TO FIND IT IN THEIR CHRISTIAN HEARTS TO HAVE YOU BUSTED. SO MUCH FOR THAT SHIT, LET'S GET ON WITH THE ACTUAL RECIPE. HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL NEED FOR A GOOD BATCH; 1 OZ. BROWN DOPE (MED. TO LOW QUALITY) 1 COLLANDER, OR SPAGGETTI STRAINER 1 PLATE 1 BLENDER (OPTIONAL BUT REALLY HELPFUL) 1 BOX OF BROWNIE OR COOKIE MIX ---AND ALL THE SHIT IT TAKES ON THE SIDE THE OF BOX TO MAKE THE BROWNIES OR COOKIES. THE FIRST THING TO DO IS TO CLEAN THE GRASS. TAKE THE STRAINER AND PUT IT ON TOP OF THE PLATE. THEN DUMP YOUR DOPE INTO THE STRAINER AND START RUBBING IT AGAINST THE SIDES AND BOTTOM OF THE STRAINER. THIS SHOULD SHRED THE GRASS INTO COURSE FLAKES. KEEP GOING TILL ALL YOU HAVE LEFT IN THE STRAINER ARE STEMS AND SEEDS, WITH CLEAN DOPE FALLING UNTO THE PLATE. DUMP OUT THE STEMS AND SEEDS FROM THE STRAINER, AND CHECK THE DOPE ON THE PLATE. REMOVE ANY SEEDS THAT MADE IT THRU. TAKE THE NOW CLEAN DOPE AND PUT IT INTO A BLENDER. RUN IT THRU AT MED. SPEED SO THAT THE DOPE IS GROUND INTO A FINE POWDER. NOW LOOK AT THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BROWNIE OR COOKIE MIX BOX. FIND HOW MUCH BUTTER OR OIL YOU SHOULD ADD, AND PUT THIS AMOUNT INTO A FRYING PAN ALONG WITH THE NOW POWDERED DOPE. TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, ADD A BIT MORE BUTTER OR OIL THAN THE MIX CALLS FOR. NOW UNDER A LOW HEAT COOK THE DOPE IN THE BUTTER OR OIL FOR A FEW MINUTES. THEN DUMP THIS MIXTURE INTO THE REST OF THE INGREDIENTS FROM THE BOX. BAKE ACCORDING TO INSTRUCTIONS, AND YOU NOW HAVE THE BEST BATCH OF MAGIC BROWNIES THAT YOU HAVE EVER TASTED. BROWNIES AREN'T THE ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN COOK WITH DOPE. THE VARIATIONS ARE ENDLESS, BUT HERE ARE A FEW TESTED EXAMPLES; MAGIC SPAGETTI (USE DOPE INSTEAD OF OREGANO) MAGIC BURRITOS (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LOVE A GOOD CASE OF THE SHITS) MAGIC "FRIED" CHICKEN MAGIC FUDGE BARS THE MAIN TRICK TO COOKING WITH DOPE IS TO COOK THE DOPE IN SOME KIND OF FAT,WHETHER IT BE BUTTER, OIL, MARGARINE, OR CRISCO, ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE THE DOPE IS IN A TYPE OF FAT. THIS IS DUE TO THE FACT THAT THC IS A FAT-SOULUBLE CHEMICAL, AND HEATING IT IN FAT WILL CAUSE THE DOPE TO BREAK DOWN CHEMICALLY, AND THE FAT JUST LICKS IT UP. ONCE INSIDE YOUR BOD, THE THC- SATURATED FAT IS DIGESTED FASTER THAN THE DOPE FLAKES. THIS WAY, YOUR GUTS HAVE A CHANCE TO GET MORE THC BEFORE IT GETS PASSED ON TO THE INSTESTINES AND OUT INTO YOUR LOCAL MCDONALDS. REMEMBER THE SIXTIES, AND BON APPETIT' !!! **********DOCTOR REALITY**********